The Afghan Girl

The evil people

    "For you a thousand times."-Khaled Hussani
Being form Afghanistan English was not my first language; thus, I had to adapt not only to the new language that was being used, but also the culture. One first things that I learned was saying hi which was weird because people also used it to say high five and going high up. So when people would say hi I would be like ya high five then they would look at me like the heck is wrong with her but eventually gave the high five just to be nice. Then I hear "Hola como estas?" which thankfully I was able to differentiate as Spanish because I had neighbors and classmates who would translate that for me. For that I'm definitely grateful because I could only imagine putting English, Spanish, and Dari as one language. I would imagine saying "Salam hi high hola" like what the fuck is that. Another thing that I had to learn was how to eat with a spoon, a spoon? yes bitch just keep reading, in Afghanistan we like to eat things with our hands I don't even know why but that was the norm. I didn't know this until I was eating a muffin with my hands, you have to know I'm a small person and eat slowly, when I overheard some people next to me saying wow she must be so poor and she looks like a pig. Which was ironic because they were eating ham. That was when my path of being humbled came in to play instead of getting angry I just let them say what they wanted for the reason that I figured they never met an Afghan before. I felt as if all eyes were on me, the year was 2001 after September 11, and the sake of Islam was on my shoulder. Furthermore, I decided to do what any Muslim would do and just have patience as well as show them how a Muslim is suppose to actually act rather that what they showed on media. Which brings me to food, man where do I even begin with that, the first time I tried ham was in that same cafeteria where I just felt like I did not belong a girl offered me ham and at time I was focused on blending in that ate it. Of course when my dad asked me what I ate and iI said ham he informed me that Muslims were not suppose to eat pork. Now I find myself doing out of habit as I mentioned in my target experiment.This I was juggling between cultures there was the African American culture, latino, white, and Afghan. The thing that helped me adapt was hanging out with these groups individually as well as history; although, it made me see the way they act each group took a part of me with them that I sometimes forget what mine was like. I started to see patterns in every culture, for example, the African American culture the people were brought as slaves and and segregation kept them from achieving to their highest, no not high five, potential. The thing I liked about their culture was how determined they were, for example, using songs like "wade in the water" as a map. In the Chicano culture there was the bracero program where they were also forced to work and when they came to America they were referred to as stupid, wetback, specks, and more. In their culture the thing that I liked was their passion they had for their child and gettin them a better life. In the white culture I know that we have our average southern bells which to be honest I thought was beautiful. Watching movies also helped me, for example I watched Selena, anything for selena!, documentaries, Selma, and Indian movies. Which brings me to the movie Kite Runner when I heard them speak Dari the way I did I was already tearing up and then I saw that it took place in Afghanistan I was a mess like I actually found a place that I belong and no longer had to learn a new culture because it was one that I subconsciously knew all along. That movie was such an eye opener to me because in school there would be no actually history on Islam just the white version of it well the movie was a bit white washed but most of it was so on point that I even had to take a step back. That was when I started to dig into my culture more and enhanced my religion. I learned the language more and even learned a couple of new afghan songs. The only thing that I could not find was someone to share this with, sure I had my family but it was not the same, so I always felt like that side of me was always was always hidden down their somewhere. That is until I enrolled in Evergreen Valley Community College I started to see some afghans around and in my English class we went to an even on the book "We are Afghan Women" by surprising Laura Bush and I mustered all my courage so that I could start to actually open up about my life. I usually do not let people in because when we came to America we were told that they were people of Satan and did disgusting things who could not be trusted also because I have overprotective brothers. They would tell me that there is no such things as a real friend so trust no one. That would be the reason why I have trust issues but I feel like some of you are really genuine human beings. I believe if I can open up more it will help be desensitized my fear of getting hurt because if i do get hurt then i would know how to deal with it a lot better rather than just keep it to myself.

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