After Life
Sarge is currently in the so called "After Life" And is currently standing in the middle of dull are dull version of blood gultch.
Sarge: (with a slight echo) Hello? ... Hello? I said hello? Hello, is anybody out here?
To Church.
Church: (with a slight echo) Holy cow, would you stop yelling? I'm here.
Church runs up to Sarge.
Sarge: What is this place?
Church: Well, that's.. kinda hard to explain. Um... You were shot in the head, buddy. So, here ya are.
Sarge: Am I dead?
Church: Are you dead? Well, yeah, that's how I ended up here.
Sarge: Are you some kinda angel?
Church: (chuckling) Aheh heh heh.. am I an angel. Uh, (clears throat) yeah, actually, I am. I'm an angel. Um, do you wanna go to Heaven? 'Cause it's, like, ten bucks to get in.
Sarge: Well I, uh, I didn't really bring any.. I mean, my wallet's back in the car.
Church: Hey, you don't have it there, huh? Well uh.. that's too bad. Pretty crappy reason to be damned to Hell for an eternity.
Sarge: I don't remember dyin'.
Church: Yeah, that's my fault too. I was... sort of possessing your body at the time that you were shot. Sorry about that.
Sarge: Hold on a second, that ain't fair.
Church: Not fair? Yeah, join the frickin' club. I got shot by my own tank.
To Sheila aiming at Church.
Sheila: Target locked.
Church: Oh ha ha, very funny Sheila. Shut up. You know I still haven't forgiven you. I didn't say you could talk to me yet. Go there, g-get, go over by the base. Shoo, shoo!
Sheila lowers her turret and drives off.
Red Base
To Leo, Grif and Simmons over Sarge's body in the real world; the picture is distorted, wavy anytime the real world is shown.
Grif: Sarge! Don't you give up on me soldier, do you hear me? I'm ordering you!
Leo: Grif it's pointless, he's been shot in the head!
To Sarge in "Dead World."
Sarge: Who is that? Who's there?
Church: Looks like your guys are trying to save you.
To Grif hitting Sarge in the chest with the butt end of his gun.
Grif: You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge!
Leo: Grif that's not how you do it!
To Sarge in "Dead World."
Sarge: That is not the way you were trained to do that, Private!
Church: He can't hear you.
To Simmons.
Simmons: Guys, this isn't working. We have to try something else.
To Church in "Dead World."
Church: If he gives you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving.
To Simmons.
Simmons: ...Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth.
Leo: I volunteer Grif to do it!
Grif: Fuck you man!
To Church in "Dead World."
Church: I'm leaving.
Sarge: I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me.
Church: Why wouldn't they? I mean, my team didn't, but, why wouldn't yours?
Sarge: I thought they didn't like me.
Church: Aw, don't sell yourself short. I don't even know ya, and here I am about to guide you to Heaven for only five bucks.
Sarge: Hold on, if you're an angel, how come you ain't got no wings?
Church: Because nobody rang a bell, ah heh heh heh heh. Seriously, do you have the money or don't you?
Sarge: Oh, I feel the worst about Grif. I always made fun of him. I never even told him.. he was my son.
Church: No way! The orange guy is your son?
Sarge: Nah, I just wanted to screw with him one last time. But now I'll never get that chance. Besides the only son I would want is a son like Leo!
To Grif rising to his feet.
Grif: He's breathing! We saved Sarge!
Leo: What?! But, he was shot in the head?!
To Sarge in "Dead World."
Sarge: I'm what?
Church: He's what?
Sarge: Well, I'll be a monkey's... they saved me.
Church: What? No, come back! We need to even the sides!
Sarge: Thanks for your help, wingless angel fella! (voice starts to fade away) Will I remember any of this?
Church: Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!
Sarge regains consciousness and stands up in front Of Leo, Grif and Simmons in the real world.
Sarge: (clears throat) There. What... What happened here?
Simmons: Sir, you got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir.
Leo: (Shocked) How is this possible? You shouldn't even be alive?!
Sarge: I always believed in you, Simmons.
Simmons: Uh, actually, it's Grif you should thank, sir. He did all the work.
Sarge: Grif?
Simmons: Yes, sir.
Sarge: Grif, why in Hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick of sense.
Grif: (sighs) You're welcome, sir.
Sarge: I mean it's all so damn inconsistent! What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe? Rub my neck with aloe vera? Hey there, Grif! I think I feel an aneurysm comin' on. Could you help me out with one of them therapeutic mass-ag-es? ...Use your fingers, not your knuckles. ...That there, that's good. Lower back. Yeah, I can feel that working already. Don't be afraid to go too low. (long pause) ...oh yeah, shiatzu.
Leo: Hey Grif my feet have a cramp, could you rub my shoulders?
Grif: He doesn't need any help man!
The End
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Author: YAAAAAAAY!!!! Another part done!
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue Season 1: Male Oc
AdventureRed vs blue season 1, but with a new man in the group of dumbasses! The Oc Leo is owned by Me Red vs Blue is owned by "Rooster Teeth"
