Reckless. [TMNT 2012]

Chapter 36; Evelyn

Song: Endlessly - The Cab

Pacing back in forth, I wait impatiently for the doorbell to ring. My stomach is tied up in knots of anxiety and fear. I feel as if my heart might explode from how quick it's pounding.

   Only a few minutes before, Casey called me from a payphone. He informed me that he is on his way to my house. I'm relieved that he's alive, but the way his voice cracked worried me. I had asked him dozens of questions, such as "What happened?" and "Are you hurt?" But he refused to answer. He simply said he would be at my house as soon as possible and hung up.

   So, I am left in excruciating suspense as I wait for him to arrive. Seconds tick by like hours on the grandfather clock. Angelina comes by to check on me occasionally and offer me hot chocolate, but I brush her off. The only thing that can calm me down is seeing Casey's face.

   The doorbell rings and I fling the door open a heartbeat later. I let out a sigh of relief when I see Casey, but it's cut short at the condition he's in. He has dried blood on his lip and one of his eyes are slightly swollen. His clothes are covered in a dark red liquid, and one of his pants legs is clotted with a black-red substance. With a sick feeling, I recognize what his stains are.

   "You're covered in blood!" I exclaim in horror, my eyes wide with shock. I'm not one to get disgusted easily, as I think the human body is fascinating. But this takes everything to a new level.

   "Yeah," Casey mumbles, his voice cracking as he smiles a little bit. "I guess you could call it gross anatomy."

   I don't bother telling him that isn't the actual definition of gross anatomy. "Casey, you need medical attention," I say. "Come on, I'm taking you to the emergency room."

   Casey shakes his head and pushes his way into the house, shutting the door behind him. "I'm fine," he says. "Actually, I'm better than I've ever been."

   "You need antiseptics and bandages at least," I insist. I'm not a fool; I know when someone is in danger of infection, and Casey is a walking example.

   Clearly Casey's in pain, but the look in his eyes tells me he has something else on his mind. "No, just listen," he changes the subject. "When I was out there, I had a weird kind of realization, I guess. I was about to be splattered all over the city, and I remembered a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She... She asked if I had feelings for you, and I denied it." Casey's cheeks turn bright red. "But then I realized that I was being an idiot."

   I blink, confused. "What are you getting at?" I whisper softly, almost afraid to know the answer.

   "I'm saying that I really like you, Goldilocks," Casey murmurs. "A lot. And it took me a near-death experience to realize that."

   I stare up at him with a spinning mind. My stomach is still twisted, but in a much nicer way. Knowing that he cares about me as more than just a friend makes my heart skip a beat. Maybe, just maybe, I feel the same way.

   But I can't.

   "Casey, I-" I start to reply, but Casey doesn't give me the chance.

   "I know what you're gonna say," he says, his deep sepia eyes bearing into mine. My chest tightens as he continues. "You're gonna say I'm a waste of time, that I couldn't possibly be your type. I know you're way out of my league and that you deserve someone much better. But I promise I'll prove you wrong by being the guy of your dreams. I swear I'll be perfect for you."

   I admire how much he is putting himself out there for me, but he doesn't understand. "I know you'll try, Casey, but-"

   "I can't stop thinking about you, Goldie." Casey wraps his frozen hands around mine and tugs me close to him. "I know I sound so stupid saying this, but you're always in the back of my mind. I can't go ten seconds without wondering how you're doing, or what you might be up to. Please tell me I'm not crazy for feeling like this."

   "You're not crazy. I feel the same way," I admit, feeling my cheeks heat up.

   It's true. Casey Jones has completely taken over my life. Not only because I am determined for him to pass anatomy, but because he is always there. He my only friend, but I also know we have a connection deeper than that. Something much more sentimental than a friendship. I've never felt anything like it. I wasn't sure I could ever feel this way about anyone.

   Casey's eyes stare into mine, brimming over with joy. I can see dozens of thoughts darting around in his head, as if he doesn't know what to say next. But he doesn't have to say anything, because the discussion ends here.

   "But we can't be together," I tell him abruptly.

   Casey tilts his head slightly, as if he isn't sure he heard me right. "What?" he asks.

   "Casey, we can't do this." I don't want to tell him the truth. "I'm sorry."

   Casey looks hurt. "Why not?"

   "I just... I just can't," I insist, but it only makes the situation worse. Like pulling off a bandage slowly and dragging out the agony.

   Casey opens his mouth to ask again, but I just blurt it out:

   "I'm leaving for Paris."

   Casey wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion, so I go on. "There's a great university there that I want to attend. I had to do a certain amount of volunteer work to get in, so I chose tutoring high school students. And because of that, they accepted me," My triumphant tone is softer and more sad than normal.

   Casey is silent for a long time as he lets the heart-wrenching truth sink in. Then he very carefully asks, "So you tutored me to get into college?

   I nod, ignoring the stabbing pain in my chest. Taking his hand, I lead him into the living room and sit him down beside me. "I had to. It was the only way I could get accepted into such a high-ranked college. And... I'm leaving tomorrow," I rush out the last part bashfully, knowing I should have warned him sooner.

   Casey flinches. "Tomorrow? But you haven't even graduated high school yet!" He sounds a bit angry.

   "I graduated early," I elaborate further, every word making me sink deeper and deeper into guilt. "I doubled my classes this year and managed to graduate a semester early. I want to get a head start on college, so I must head out tomorrow to be there by registration day. I know it's last minute, but they only just informed me that I was accepted."

   Casey's sad eyes drop to the floor. He plays with his fingers, a raincloud almost visible over his head.

   "I'm sorry," I say as I touch his shoulder gently. "I should have told you earlier, I just didn't think you would care."

   Casey looks at me again, and I'm surprised to see his eyes turning glassy. "Of course I care! Even if we're just friends, I still don't wanna see you go so soon."

   Swallowing the lump in my throat, I chase away my guilty thoughts. I sit awkwardly, not sure what else to say. I haven't felt this many emotions at once before.

   I've never been good at considering the feelings of others. My situation prevents me from knowing how to treat people. I've read books on how friends act towards each other, but apparently that didn't do me much justice.

   For the first time in my life, I am confused.

   "I can't believe it," Casey whispers, his eyes closing. "I find someone who can make me forget all of my problems, and now they're leaving."

   I can't bear to look at him. "I'm sorry," I repeat, uncertain of what else to say. No other words can put to rest what I just awoke.

   Casey wraps an arm around my waist and lets me cocoon into his side. "It's alright," he murmurs as I rest my head on his shoulder. The next thing he says breaks me.

   "I'm just your student, after all."