Despise

Despise Chapter 7

Despise 7

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Holy --

I could live with that image out of mind.

There was willium and his bootay call in the back of the car, making out with out clo- And do I need to finish the rest.?

I mustve been frozen along time because finally willium looked up.

And boy was his face red.

Man if only he knew how I was feeling.

He and uhmm. Pink steletto girl, what's here name, got out the car in their crumpled up clothes. And started whispering. For a long time while stood there.

akward...

A few moments passed and I got the courage to walk, fuck it, I went straight to the trunk and starting putting my bags in. 'Well hell' i thought. what else am I suppose to do?! Ive never been in this type of situation.

I guess pretend Like it never happened.

I waited in the car while he talked to Cindy. I remembered.

once he got in he looked me straight in the face.

" I already know, I won't tell what I saw, and if I do I give you permition to kill me. Scouts honnor." I said while raising my right hand

" I wasn't going to say that and thanks. Can't belive your not freaking out I mean damn I would a been tramatized."

If he only knew.

" its like seeing your mom and dad in the bed together, gross.. Then I woulda gone to see a doctor from shock and what not,"

damn this guy can talk!

" tell him to persribe me some shock pills or something I mean god da-"

" so what did you wanna tell me?" I said now a little agitated. Common I do not need my "what I wouldve done" stories.

"spoke to soon the lions out of the cage."

What?! I don't get him at all?

Maybe it's me that I'm not getting. Well of course after what dad did I'm surprised I'm not a trainwrek.

" just drive, I'm tired if you. I'm just threw with all your crap what the hell. Ugh! who gives you the right to-"

" hey there princess all I was going to say was thank you for keeping your cool and not telling my mom. And that i was sorry but I guess you don't deserve it now." and with that he put the the car in gear and sped down the road.

Damn don't I feel like a douch. But he sarted it.

Why am i such a baby?

Home sweet home. That phrase didn't sound so sweet anymore. Home. Where my mom just gave me away without a single goodbye. Home. Is sure the hell not here either. So where is home?

The days where pretty bad after that and I honestly think I'm a five year old instead of a fifteen year old. Fighting the way we do, I bet it doesn't even make scence to anybody.

But I guess I have my dad to blame with that.

Flashback to four years old.

" come here now!" daddy said very mad

Oh no mamas in trouble.

" sure rene I'll be right there. Baby can you stay right here for a bit and I'll be right back ok?"

And then she left.

I played for a while without mama.

I started to get scared and lonely

" mama?"

I went down the hall.

"mama!?"

Then from behind me mama was there with blood on her face.

"Mama! Did daddy hurt you?"

She nodded, crying on my sholder.

"oh Caro don't fill her head with your bull shit. Do you wanna go into the room again?"

" no." my mother sobbed.

" yeah that's right cause my bitch knows her place right.?"

Daddy uses mean words to hurt mama.

" yes" she sobbed some more.

Poor mama. Daddy no hurt mama no more. I protect mama.

"daddy? Wanna play a game?"

" sure sweetie anything for my angel."

He smiled that made his face look even older from all his crinkles around his eyes.

" ohk daddy but you have to count outside and I hide. Yeah?"

" ohk."

As soon as daddy left out the door I locked the doors, and all the windows, then left to find mama.

I found mama on the bed crying.

" I'm sorry I'm not a good mother-" she started to say but ened up crying.

" no mama. You are good. Daddy is very bad, but daddy can't hurt you! I Lock the doors and windows!"

Here face brightened a little then went pale.

"what If he gets even madder?"

I heard daddy start to scream bad words outside.

" it's ohk we go live with grandma. Let's go to sleep mama. Ohk. I sing you my song."

" Mi mama me mima,Mi mama me ama,Mi mama me mima,Mi mama me ama..."

We slept well until the next morning...

Flash back to present day

Ever since then I play games with every guy I meet. I don't ever want to be like mama.

"No I swore to myself no guys till I'm twenty. Who cares what people think when I tell them that, but those are my morales, if you don't like them go away, I don't care", is what my mind always used to say.

But now that I'm older I realize well being the way I am towards guys will only end badly, and get me anywhere.

I need to fix it.

Starting with Willium.

what the song ment/ symbolysis is my mom loves and cares for me, and my mom loves me. I made it up for her whenever she had a stressful day or when my daddy used to beat her.

I would just sing her to sleep while I ran my fingers through her hair.

That flashback is a true story and a part of my past. The past I don't want in my future.

Thanks for reading.