fuck you.
fuck how many nights i spent contemplating if i was good enough to be yours and if i was the kind of person you would keep around.
fuck how you would disappear from me for days because of your "issues" (even though you were just with your friends) and it would take everything in me to will myself not to call you and just give you the space you desired.
and those nights i spent worrying, wondering if you were okay and how i would feel so lost i couldn't even look at the hoodie you gave me, which still smelled strongly of your cologne.
how i would fear you leaving me because i told you about all the people that had left me before and you would reassure me and say "i'm not leaving you".
how i spent my birthday with you and you bought me concert tickets because you remembered i said i'd never seen a concert before.
and how even after you fucking dumped me the next day to get with another girl, i still kept your hoodie incase you would ever ask for it back (even though i wanted so badly to burn it).
and how when that girl found out what you did to me, you left her too.
how months later you plunged back into my life and i forgave you for all the fuckery of bullshit, tears, and sleepless nights you caused me, and gave you an undeserved second chance.
and how in the meantime of this second chance, you were flirting with other girls.
and how i confronted you about you not caring about me and you told me to leave you. so i did.
and how i was so upset and hopeful i'd get a text from you saying you're sorry you fucked up and you missed me.
and how someone eventually got that text from you, but it wasn't me, it was my best friend.
how even looking at you reminds me how broken you left me.
and how even now, it still hurts.
so fuck you.
fuck your stupid aura of confidence and your stupid smile that was so contagious.
fuck the dumb country songs you would tell me to listen to because they talked about how much they love someone, that you've probably used on a dozen other girls.
and fuck how you made me listen to country.
fuck how you always knew exactly what to say and spit out lies as if they were water.
and fuck how i believed them.
