Everything | Jenzie

e l e v e n

Mackenzie's POV

Johnny had blindfolded me and was taking me to a random place. I sat there in the car seat fidgeting and playing with my fingers to distract me from how terrified I was. I didn't want him to see the scars, not this early, he would never talk to me again.

"Kenz don't be scared, we'll be there soon." Johnny said, taking my hand in his but I was still tense, I had to come up with an excuse as to why I couldn't swim. 

After what felt like hours, we finally arrived at our destination. Johnny took my blindfold off and I was lost for words. We were deep into the countryside and I had to admit it was beautiful. The cottages, the little shops, the greenery, it calmed me down a lot but I was still panicking, I could not let him find out.

"Come on." He took my hand and we walked down a cobblestone path for a short while and entered a shop. Immediately after, the smell of freshly baked goods and jam filled my nose as I sighed, taking it all in. Johnny dragged me with him towards the till to a young girl, probably the same age as us.

"Hi what would you like?" The girl said, chewing her gum and never taking her gaze off Johnny. 

He ran to the glass and looked at all the different pastries, sweet treats and ice creams. "Wait Mackenzie, pick what you want first." I stared at him, my eyes widening. He doesn't actually know why I was sick that night, he doesn't know about my issues. He slowly turned to me and frowned before pointing at some raspberry filled doughnuts, "Four of these please." He said politely to the girl and then pointed at two different ice cream flavours. I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation he was having with this her, I was too busy focusing on the people in the store. There was a couple sitting in a table at the back, the woman had a hot chocolate and was pregnant as the man was opposite her drinking a cafe latte, they were holding hands over the table, clearly engrossed in the conversation they were having. I tried thinking about some of the things they might talk about, maybe about the baby, when their scan was, what gender they want it to be. That lead me to start thinking about my future. I had never really gone into much depth about it before, I knew I would like to have kids, and now I have Johnny I know he's the man I want to be with for the rest of my life, the much of it I have left. I've never really had a plan, I just went whichever way the wind was blowing.

"Earth to Kenz?" I snapped out of my trance, my eyes hazy and my lips slightly parted, I was confused and out of it a lot more recently, and it made me scared, scared of myself, scared of what was happening. "Let's go kid, we still have a long day ahead of us." he handed me vanilla ice-cream and we started walking out of the store together.

"Wait sir! You left your receipt!" the girl from the store yelled.

Johnny flipped her off before proceeding to say, "I have a girlfriend." We ran out of the store together into the car and drove off, laughing our heads off.

"I've never seen badass Johnny before." I say after we are a safe distance from the store.

"He only comes out at desperate times." He licked his ice cream as I stared at mine, wanting to eat it all but eat nothing at all. I didn't realise he was watching me all this time. "I'm guessing this is to do with why you vomited two nights ago..." He paused, staring out at the road ahead. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I sighed and rested my head on the window. "John-"

"You don't have to tell me it's fine." 

"No. It's the least I can do." I take a deep breath. "I'm a messed up person ok? I like to keep myself to myself but you've made me different, you've made me change. You deserve to know some of it." I saw his face change when I said 'some of it' but I carried on. "Ever since I was 14, I've hated my body image. It sucks, I looked like a 20kg sack of potatoes so I trained myself to sick up my food since I couldn't control myself. I would eat so much until I felt sick enough for it to just, come out."

"Kenz-" his voice cracked as he pulled over and got out of the car, motioning for me to follow him, so I did. We walked down another little path and found ourselves in front of a beautiful waterfall. "This is my favourite spot. It's the only other thing that's been keeping me going apart from you. You're beautiful, and talented and amazing. Don't hate on yourself, and I know that's easier said than done, but hopefully some of my love can help you."

He cupped my cheeks and wiped the tears off my face before giving me a cheeky smile. "Ditch the ice cream, let's go swimming."

"No John, I er- I can't swim." I said, biting my lip.

"Kenz, don't be stupid, I'll teach you. Come on." He took off his shirt so he was only wearing his black swimming trunks. I wrapped my arms around my body and sat down.

"I'll just watch from here." 

"But it's not fun like that." He said pouting, pulling me up.

I got angry and annoyed that he wasn't listening. "Johnny stop!"

He looked taken aback, lost for words as he stared at me, gaping. "Mackenzie Ziegler, what are you hiding." his tone was grave, scary even.

"Nothing John." I stepped back as he took a step towards me. His green eyes stared into my soul as I cracked, breaking down. "You're not supposed to find out, not yet." I felt my knees give way as I fell to the floor. "I've never been this close to someone before, to feel the need to tell them, no one's ever made me feel this the way you have. I want to tell you everything, my whole life, but not here, not now."

"So when Mackenzie." He came towards me and hugged me, "I can tell it's eating you up inside."

He's right, he's so right but I can't tell him. He'd be disgusted, traumatized. He'd leave me.

"Does it have anything to do with this?" he takes out a silver tin and my heart stops for a second, I couldn't breathe so I just nodded slowly. "What's in it?" He already knows what's in it. I sat up and turned to face him, taking the tin and opening it. 

"A razor." My voice was quiet, I could barely get it out. There was no-one else around us, and the silence was deafening, "Say something Johnny." a tear fell down my cheek.

"What do you do with it." A singular tear ran down his face and it broke my heart, I think he knew, he guessed because of what I told him in the car.

I stood up and started taking off my clothes so I was only left in my black swimsuit and Johnny stared. I hated this feeling, I didn't like it at all, it was difficult, infuriating even to show him these scars, my battle wounds. I didn't want to hurt him I didn't want him to feel like crap.

"I've messed everything up, haven't I. Like I always do because I'm a fucking mess." Johnny didn't speak, he simply stood up and took my hands in his.

"You're beautiful, scars and all. You are mine, and you always will be, nothing will ever change that. You don't need to hurt yourself. You never have, and never will ruin anything between us, nothing you say can push me away." he took a moment to look at me again and I know he saw the healing bruises. He didn't ask, that was for another time. "Mackenzie Francis Ziegler, I love you, and nothing can change that." he kissed me long and slow, this one was different from the others, it was passionate, intimate. He knocked my socks off, even though it hurt him, knowing that I hurt myself, he still supported me heads on, I had no idea why, but I did know one thing.

"Johnny Vincent Orlando."

"Mhmm..."

"I love you."

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I feel like I'm rushing the story,

I don't mean too, I just don't want to make it too long,

or else I will never finish writing the book.

But this was such a cute scene, I loved writing it.

Hope you guys enjoyed it! 

Also don't forget to vote if you like the book!

{1433 words xoxo}

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