DAY6 DRABBLES

iv

posted on ao3:
@/vokdas

PAIRING:
jaehyungparkian

—

Younghyun doesn't cry when they get the news, but the others do.

Wonpil sobs into Sungjin's shoulder, near hyperventilating, and Dowoon has his face buried in his hands as his shoulders shake. Sungjin has tears streaming down his face, Younghyun notices, but he holds the maknaes close to his chest, keeps whispering reassurances to them, promising them they'll be fine – promising them that, even without Jae, things will be okay.

He doesn't believe it – Younghyun knows him well enough to know when he's lying, and even if he didn't Sungjin has always been as easy to read – and they don't believe him, if their continued crying is any indication. Younghyun doesn't, either.

"I miss hyung," Wonpil chokes out between hiccups. "I want hyung to come home."

Dowoon cries harder, unintelligible although he's obviously trying to say something too. Sungjin clutches them tighter, squeezes his eyes shut. "Me too," is all he says, but his voice holds more weight and heartache and hurt than he could ever have poured into even the saddest of their songs. The cold dread that spreads through Younghyun's chest leaves a cold burn in its wake, and he shoots up from his spot on the couch.

"I need – I need to go," he says mindlessly, flipping in and out of English and Korean in his haste. "I'm sorry – sorry, I'm – I can't – "

He doesn't mean to slam the door shut on the way out, but he does. Sungjin doesn't mention it the next day.

—

Junhyeok calls first.

He's sorry for their loss, he says, and he hopes they'll all be alright. He says he knows they will be, because he knows them, and he's seen them lose someone and emerge unscathed before.

(Younghyun thinks it's ironic that it's him who says that, and thank God only he and Sungjin picked up the phone. He doesn't know if he can watch any more of Wonpil and Dowoon's crying.)

"If there's anything I can do for you all, let me know," Junhyeok adds. "I know it's a difficult time you're going through, hyung."

Sungjin's grip on Younghyun's fingers tighten for a fraction of a second before he forcibly relaxes again. "I will. Thank you for calling."

He won't, but Younghyun doesn't think that's something Junhyeok needs to know.

—

They sleep in the living room, after Dowoon cries all through the first night without Jae. Younghyun's placating is useless, but it's no surprise. He's never been good with emotions anyway.

As the now-oldest member, Sungjin has executive rights to the couch, but he sleeps on the floor with the rest of them, and no one has the heart to say otherwise. The couch remains empty.

Dowoon falls asleep easily curled up in Wonpil's arms, but Sungjin stays up for hours. Younghyun, who wakes up in the middle of the night with the image of his late best friend laughing etched into his mind, pretends he doesn't know.

—

"When I first met Jae, I didn't like him," is how Younghyun's eulogy starts. "He didn't like me either, though. So it's okay."

In the front row, Wonpil is already crying. Dowoon is too, although he's being much more discreet about it. Sungjin is stone-faced; he'd told Younghyun before they'd left that he refuses to let the media pity them any more than it has already. Younghyun thinks he understands.