Born of Shadow - Book 1 (complete)

Chapter 4

Kami felt a gentle pulse.

She snatched the necklace out and stared at it. She knew she had felt it, some kind of energy surge or something. She wrapped her hand around the scarab making a fist, but felt nothing. She dropped it under her shirt again gingerly, holding her breath, waiting.

Nothing happened. Maybe she had imagined it.

Kami's eyes caught the time on the alarm clock, and she knew she needed to pick up her pace. She couldn't miss her flight. She was lucky her expedited passport had barely arrived in time. She finished her hair, dabbed on some light makeup and grabbed her suitcase.

As she left the bedroom, she was surprised to see the kitchen still dark. She flipped on the light and her heart sunk. Not again. Her mother had promised she was quitting. Not that that meant anything, but still. Now?

Two empty bottles of cheap wine with a black label lay sideways on the table. If she knew anything about her mother, the bottles had been full when she brought them home last night. She was in one of her moods again. Hadn't she remembered that she'd promised to drive her to the airport? She'd been counting on her.

Oh her mother probably didn't intend it, she knew that. One little drink, she'd probably promised herself, just to calm the nerves. Then one more, and one more until she was drinking without thinking.

Kami could feel the irritation building up, so she took a deep breath and blew it out to release the tension. She didn't want to get worked up right before her trip, but it was hard to be patient with her mother wrecking her life. She wished she wasn't so dependent on her mother. She wished her mother wasn't so dependent on her when she often didn't know the right thing to do.

She took another deep breath. What was it that Rosa had said? It's like her mother had two holes in her heart, one to pour in the pain and another to drain the happiness. The cravings, the drinking, the obsessive dwelling on the past. Living in a world of 'if-only's' locked her into a mental prison, one to which she kept voluntarily returning. Knowing this didn't make it easier for Kami to understand, but it did make it easier for her to care.

Kami quietly opened the door to her mother's room. Her mother's brown hair was plastered to one side of her face. She moaned and turned. Even in sleep she never looked at peace. Kami's heart constricted. What was she thinking, leaving her in this state? Staying wouldn't change her mother, but at least she could watch out for her and make sure she didn't do anything too stupid. She couldn't go, she just couldn't.

There. She'd been debating for weeks. Now it was decided. She tried to tell herself she was relieved that she didn't have to go. Her grandmother would probably be crushed, but what choice did she have? Hopefully, she wouldn't be too mad about the wasted money on the airline ticket. She had rambled on about her grandfather needing her for some reason, but it seemed impossible that she could do anything for someone like him.

A tiny pouting voice in the back of her head cried, What about you? But she'd learned to drown out that voice. It only led to frustration to listen to it.

Rosa! She was expecting her. She'd have to let Rosa know that she wouldn't need her to turtle sit after all. It seemed silly to have Rosa take care of Galileo when her mom was home, but she had a history of being unreliable. Kami had gone on a three-day boating trip with friends, and her mom had completely forgotten to care for Galileo. He'd been sluggish at first, after some coaxing he finally started eating again. It had been a huge relief nothing worse had happened. It was just easier to let Rosa take care of him, and she didn't seem to mind.

She crossed the lawn and knocked on the door. Rosa, a plump woman with kind eyes and a mischievous grin, answered the door. Her brown hair was flecked with generous streaks of gray and was pulled back into a tight bun. She brushed a flyaway strand behind her ear and wiped her hands on an apron that read, "Kiss the Cook."

"No thanks," Kami said.

Rosa stared at her blankly, so Kami pointed at the apron. She understood and chuckled.

"C'mon, you know you want to," she said, winking and pointing to her cheek. Kami laughed and gave her a peck. She looked around.

"Where's Galileo?"

Kami's smile faded.

"Um, about that. Mom's going through a rough patch again. I don't think I can leave under the circumstances."

"Nonsense, Kami," Rosa interrupted. "Just because your mother is struggling doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the trip of your life. She is not going to guilt-trip you out of it. I half believe she did this to sabotage you."

Kami felt a stab of loyalty and knew she should probably defend her mother. She also knew Rosa was probably right.

"Just march over there and get that turtle of yours. You're going on this trip."

"But she can't drive me to the airport."

"I'll drive you, and I'll watch over your mother while you're gone. You've been carrying the world on your shoulders too long and you deserve a break. You should go and enjoy yourself."

Rosa could be bossy at times, in a firm motherly sort of way. Kami wasn't sure it was the best idea to go, but she knew Rosa wouldn't be budged. And Rosa would watch over her mother, just like she'd watched over her ever since they'd become neighbors.

"Sometimes I just wish I understood why," Kami said, biting her lip. "She knew how important this was to me."

Rosa sighed and picked at a loose string on her apron.

"Your mother never really got over your father's death. She loved him intensely you know."

Kami nodded.

"Sometimes when you love like that, you'd do almost anything to keep from losing it. You tie yourself to the pain and self-medicate to numb the effects of it. It's a vicious cycle, but you do it because if you don't, you lose that person. It's better to feel pain than to feel nothing."

"But why can't she remember without so much pain? Other people have lost loved ones and they don't mourn forever. Why can't mom choose happiness? Choose life? Choose me?"

Rosa shrugged.

"It's selfish," Kami said, feeling ashamed even as she said it. It felt wrong to admit her mother had a flaw, like she was airing dirty laundry. Of course that laundry had already been aired plenty of times by her mother so it wasn't like there was anything secret about it.

"Don't be too hard on her. She has her reasons. I don't think she realizes how hard her choices are on you. Where is my purse? I know I left it here somewhere. Ah, found it!" Rosa rummaged through the bag and pulled out her keys. She paused, looked at Kami for a moment, then pulled her in for a hug. Rosa whispered fiercely in her ear.

"Whatever you do, don't throw your life away and blame it on your mother. No matter the life your mother chooses, you get to carve out your own fate. You make your own destiny. Got it?"

Kami nodded.

"Now bring over that turtle."

So Kami carried Galileo over to Rosa's house, and within minutes they were flying down the highway in Rosa's rattling Toyota truck that had probably been around since dinosaurs roamed the Earth. The passenger mirror shook so violently, it seemed it would snap off at any moment.

As they whizzed past the orange groves, she turned her thoughts away from her mother and towards flying for the first time.

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The gorgeous scarab pendant in the media box above was made to commemorate the opening of King Tut's tomb. This scarab is similar to what I imagined Kami's to be like, only the stone is darker green with red spots. 

This chapter is dedicated to my beautiful mother, Ladonna Gedeborg. She is the women who didn't get mad when I scribbled all over the walls because she saw art. She is the woman who sewed countless little books for me to write in and encouraged my silly stories and believed in me before anyone else. Thanks Mom!