REGRETS

FOUR: THINK ABOUT ME

528 DAYS BEFORE

"I believe that you really want me, but it's not easy, just to give in so let yourself go, and let love begin..."

SONG: THINK ABOUT ME
ARTIST: FLEETWOOD MAC

Contrary to whatever Luke had said about a campfire, most everyone was standing inside. Delia immediately went outside where people were sitting around the pit passing a bong around. I crossed my arms and moved around the house until I was sure he wasn't downstairs. I made way up the stairs and stopped when I heard his voice.

"Don't do this to me right now, it took forever for me to get over all the bullshit that happened," He yelled and then there was the voice of a girl.

She sounded like she had been crying.

"Please stop acting like I'm the only one who could have fucked up here," He exhaled and then there was silence. It went on for a little before the door was opening.

I moved to make it seem like I was looking for the bathroom and stood stunned by the girl in front of me. Luke was right behind her and I hated that I didn't just go back downstairs, but I went up and found myself here.

"Bonita, what are you doing up here?" He asked, letting go of the girl's hand.

I parted my lips and managed to tear my glance from Luke's. The brunette gave me a little smile and looked to be standing taller. I understood why Luke may have given in to her. She was the very definition of perfect.

I caught my breath before the pause between the question got too long.

"Bathroom. I was--uh--I was looking for the bathroom," I told him and ran my fingers through my hair bringing my arms to cross over my chest. "I'm sorry if I interrupted something."

"I was just leaving," The blonde explained and turned back to Luke, leaning up to kiss him quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Luke answered stoically and watched her descend the stairs. I tried not to look like I was hurt. "She's my ex-girlfriend."

I nodded. "Doesn't look like it, honestly. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you mind? I just--I don't know where Delia is and I'm too upset to go downstairs right now," He mumbled and followed him into the bedroom he had just come out from. "You don't have to talk to me."

I smiled and sat down on the bed. "What happened?"

"Someone invited her and I'm usually really good about inviting people who know her because she's a manipulative asshole," Luke mumbled and sat down beside me.

He had a cigarette between his fingers now and somehow also managed to open the window fully in the same time frame. He was shaking and it took everything in me not to hold his hand. Instead, I helped him light the cigarette.

"It happens Luke,"

"I took so many precautions so this didn't happen and she asked me to talk and started making me feel like I was the one who didn't deserve her," Luke exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. He took a quick drag. "She was the one who ended it. I didn't want to have sex so she broke up with me."

"Don't take her back," The sentence left me before I could fully process the fact I had intentions to say it.

He looked at me with a small smile. "No?"

"No, if she can't have you without the promise of sex, then she doesn't deserve you. Having sex means something to you," I was rambling now, standing to pace back and forth.