Random life

I Feel Weird

Yep

I feel weird

And I don't like it

I feel like my heart...

Is gonna shatter at any time

Well...

Until a specific thing happens

Yeah...

It's just something that's happening in mah life

Tho I'm not saying what it is ;P

Because that person might read this

Or so

Point is

This situation has gotten me very sick

Sick inside

I feel like I'm gonna snap

In anger and disbelief

I'm not mad now

But I am disappointed

It's just how I feel

My heart is fine

Just has a little Band-Aid on it

But it's on the verge of breaking

I'm just waiting for it

I know it's gonna happen

That situation I'm going through

And others are in it

I don't really care, kinda

But there's a specific thing that's in the situation that has gotten me worked up

The person said the it won't happen

And I believe them

But...

This has happened before

Kinda

It's hard

I just feel forgotten when that happens

And I know some of you won't forget me

And that's cool I appreciate that

But I'm worried about this person

I feel like I'll lose 'em

And I'm obviously not gonna let that happen

But at the same time...

I don't wanna make the person mad or sad

Or just upset at me in general

I don't wanna pressure them

By talking about me

And how I feel

So I just act like I'm fine

When I'm not

I mean...

It's never about me

I'm not wanting attention

I just want some appreciation for my existence

So I'll KNOW that you care

Cause it's hard for me to think that someone cares about me

When they're not doing anything

They're just saying that they do

But sometimes...

I need more actions then words

Or maybe...

Specifically...

Words that WILL convince me

So then I'll believe that you do care

Unlike some of my real life friends...

They left me

They're old

But good

And my recent real friends

Left me

But for someone else

Some of them still hang out with me which is good

But the ones I really care about

Left me

Sort of

Or they're just slowly leaving my life

I'm used to it now

I'm always alone

Espaecially...

In the situation I'm dealing with

I feel super alone

And yeah...

There are people who are helping me fix this

But...

Nah the rest is too obvious

I don't wanna seem like the bad guy

And I don't want to lose...

Them

And yeah...

We've talked about this

But I'm still concerned

I don't trust him

I'm not saying who

Neither the person I'm talking about

The two people I'm talking about

Not sayin' it

I'm just keeping my mouth shut

And I'll let this ride

But if this goes wrong...

...

...

...

...

Me: 

I can't win

After message: Sorry for the creepy pic, it just shows how I feel :P