Man with the Bat || a Negan novel

Chapter 37: The Fight Must Go On

It had been three hours exactly since all hell broke loose.

And here I was sat.

In the backseat of an old car.

Covered in blood.

Some mine, some not.

"Everything is gon' be just fine Mia, don't worry."

And though I caught his gaze in the rear view mirror, I didn't feel love and remorse like I usually did when those eyes met mine. 

I instead felt empty. Like a hollow pit.

Because I didn't know if everything was going to be okay.

I didn't know if it ever would be okay again. 

We pulled up to the familiar gates, slowly creaking open as we drove up. The men we drove past as we entered viewed me with puzzled expressions. But I hardly noticed. I just felt sick, like I need to vomit for twelve years or so.

The car jolted to a stop.

He turned around to look at me.

"Mia."

Those blue eyes searching, begging me for a sign of reassurance. But my lips remained quieted and my face, I imagined, remained in an agonizingly blank stare.

"Mia, I should be the one giving you the silent treatment with how you left me last."

Oh boo-fucking-hoo.

"You killed him."

The words surprised me as they left my lips.

But they escaped through clenched teeth as I fought the bite of tears back.

At my words, his eyes lowered, his jaw clenching in agitation. 

"I did what I had to do, Mia."

And then without another look he pushed open his car door and retreated towards the crowd of Alexandrian's waiting for his update on the occurrences of today.

And I let my tough posture fail me as I slumped down, low enough so I wasn't seen. I wasn't a fucking animal in the zoo but that's how they were looking at me. And one wrong look from one of them right now could lead to a tragic end result.

Yes, Rick had saved me from the herds of walkers and a very close death. But, in doing so, he killed Negan.

And no, I hadn't actually seen it happen. 

But I knew he was gone.

I just knew.

When Rick mowed down the walkers on his way to me, I watched as he shot towards Negan a few times. I screamed at him to stop, but obviously he didn't hear me over the snarls of the walkers. But if he did, he had bluntly ignored me.

And Negan was hit.

And as the herds descended upon him, he still tried to get to me. 

Rick practically pulled me from the steps I stood on, my screams muffling all other noise as Negan retreated behind the corner of the sanctuary. Blinding me of him. But I knew he couldn't survive this, there was too many. And he was hurt. And he needed my help.

But as I fought to get away from Rick, he held on tighter, shoving me into the backseat of one of the rusty cars they had picked up. 

And I fell into a pit of hysteric sobs, screams, crying out to Rick to turn around.

But I knew in my heart, it was too late.

It was.

And though I should be thankful to Rick for saving me, I wasn't.