Man with the Bat || a Negan novel

Chapter 29: For Better or For Worse

The soft colors of the morning sky molded together in the most beautiful painting I had ever seen. Purple, pink, yellow, orange - all meshing together in one lovely swirl of wonder. It was a breath taking image, one that made you want to just sit and stare for hours, never wanting to leave this exact spot.

But as beautiful as the view is, your mind can't help but to wander.

What would make this experience better?

A cup of coffee in your hand, a camera to take an image of the scene before you, a person in particular that might just add to the bliss of this occasion?

I let out an exasperated sigh, whether in aggravation or satisfaction, I wasn't sure. I hadn't spoken to Rick since last nights outbursts, I tried waiting up for him, but he must've known that I was because he never came home. I just needed to talk to him, to explain things more in depth - but it was going to be like hell to get him to listen. All Rick heard was that I potentially have feelings for Negan, but in his eyes I was desperately in love with him. Which I wasn't....I don't think I am at least.

Love is a very powerful word. When you love someone, you give them the ability to destroy you. And perhaps I was afraid of giving Negan that ability, but a small part of me told me I already had.

"How'd I know you'd be here?" a teasing voice spoke, I glanced down to find Carl smiling up at me.

"Found me" I sigh, watching as he pulls himself up the bottom of the tree with ease. I scooted over on the branch so that he had room to sit as he finally reached my height.

"Why didn't you wake me up to come with?" he wonders. 

Back when I officially lived here, Carl and I came to watch the sunrise together every morning. But since I was recovering from surgery, I hadn't found my way here yet since I got back. Except this morning in particular I just needed to. I had to have a moment to simply breathe and somehow I found my way to this spot.

"You just looked so peaceful" I teased, earning a smirk of annoyance from Carl.

"Shut up" he chuckles, pulling out an apple from his bag.

He loudly takes a bite out of it, then offers me a bite. I decline with a shake of my head, focusing back on the morning sky.

"Are uh -" Carl pauses to swallow, "Are you and my dad fighting?"

My grip on the branch tightened in aggravation, of course he would bring up the one thing I came out here to avoid.

"A little" I sigh, swinging my legs as a distraction, "How'd you know?"

He shrugs, "Heard you guys yelling a bit last night and I noticed how he didn't come home, never a good sign."

I nod, but remain silent, I wasn't going to spill if he didn't ask.

"What were you guys fighting about anyways?"

There it was.

With a shake of my head I say, "Nothing really, just small stuff."

Carl sits silently, analyzing my face, the only noises being made were that of nature.

"You're lying" he finally says, myself sighing in aggravation that he caught on.

"Yeah, I am" I sigh, turning to look at him.

"C'mon" he groans, "You know you can tell me."

And I knew I could, but who was to say Carl wasn't going to be just as livid as Rick, perhaps more.

"Your dad uh -" I lick my lips, trying to formulate my words, "He thinks I care for Negan."

Carl remains quiet as he watches me intently, waiting for me to go on with my sentence, but what else was there for me to say?