Can't Let Him Go Larry Stylinson BoyxBoy On Hold

Chapter 13

WOW Lookie, It's a Louis POV! Isn't he supposed to be unable to move? well, his brain's still working overdrive isn't it? After all, Louis' troubled brain is the reason he's stop functioning...All Louis needs is a little bit of love and comfort from the one who's shunned him.

Louis POV:

It's dark, very dark. And silent. But not for long. Soon, the voices will be back. They like to do this a lot, leave me alone in the dark before coming suddenly to spew their harsh yet true words at me. I'm constantly reminded of all my wrongdoings and shortcomings, reminded of all that I don't have, reminded of the fact that I wasn't good enough for him, that I was never what he wanted, that it was all just a game to him, a game of revenge. The voices especially like to remind me of that...that while I was weaving a world of dreams, he was laughing at silly lil' Louis and how easily I trusted him.

How could I have not though? How could I not trust him? How could I not love him? He'd been my best friend from such a young age that our friendship had practically grown with us. I fell for him long before I even knew what loving someone truly meant. But it wasn't the same for him. He never loved me, I was just a game for him, an experiment in the beginning which turned into a game of jealousy.

That's because you're unlovable. He could never love you, for who would love someone as pathetic as you? You are unworthy of love. That's why you stole the love of his parents, isn't it? That's why you made sure his parents loved you more than they love him. Even when he brought Taylor home, his parents wouldn't accept her because of you. I never meant for that to happen though. I never knew that's how he felt, I always thought of his parents as mine and my mum as his. There was no difference between us, it was always HarryandLouis.

But there is a difference, there is Harry Styles, hotshot law graduate from London, and there's puny little Louis Tomlinson, with a pathetic degree from Doncaster University that he never even put to use. How did you even think you could be with him? Didn't you ever feel how much better he was, how much more he deserved?

I know he is much better than I can even dream of being, I know he deserves more than I could give him. He deserves to have a family, a perfect wife with beautiful children that the two of them made but I can't help but love him. Even when we were younger, I was in awe of Harry. Just a flash of those dimples and those bright green eyes and everyone would be heads over heels for him. But he used to have eyes only for me, or so I thought. How was all of it an act? We were so young when we met, how long did he put up this charade of loving me whilst nurturing such hate against me in his heart?

Do you really need a reminder? Maybe it's time for you to go through her revealing the truth again. Maybe, this time you'll understand how much Harry hates you.

The lights come on and I find myself in Harry's living room with everyone else like that fateful day when everything went wrong. Taylor asks me to talk with her in private.

NO! I scream in my head, but like every other time, I've had to go through this, I have no control over my body and I follow her out the room and up the stairs. Once we're in Harry's room, Taylor starts to speak and since I know I have to suffer through it all again, I give up struggling and just listen, knowing everything that will happen.

"So let's just cut straight to the point. Not to hurt your feelings or anything, but Harry doesn't love you. He never did. In fact, he hates your guts."

Like that day, my response is that same feeble, "No, you're lying. Harry loves me."

She continues emotionlessly. "I'm sorry, Louis, but I'm telling you the truth. Harry himself told me when we first got together that he had experimented with a guy because he'd had a phase where he thought of himself as gay but that he was over it. As time went by and we got closer, he told me that he coudn't break up with you as you were too clingy with him."