The Claire Jones Story (Re-write/Edited)

Chapter 15

Claire lowered her head and the doctor sighed and said " Claire look at me " she lifted her head " I know it hurts thinking about your father but it's going to get better. My father was a drunk, he never took care of me and my brother, i knew he wasn't a good man since i was a baby. My mom said that's not possible but then i told her its just that when i was younger I had a feeling that some how, some way he was going to break my heart, disappoint me. "

Claire looked shocked, the doctor continued " And he did in more ways than one, it hurt me badly. I lost trust, hope in people after that and i was SO hard to gain it back."

Claire said " How hard?"

The doctor chuckled "I'm still trying to find a way to gain at back. Till this day i don't trust or have hope but i have faith things will change for me to gain it back one day." Claire nodded and said " I wish i thought like that maybe if i did, i wouldn't be here. My father was only nice when he was sober and that was rare, anger, hatred, disappointment, hopeless, worthless, numbness, death it's the only thing i felt when i was around him. Now after is gone i still feel the same way, i hate him." Claire started crying " I hate him so much he was a terrible father if he was going to treat the like this should never had kids then maybe we would have been spared this heartache."

The doctor understood everything she was saying, she lived through it just like Claire, but there was more to the story then Claire was telling.

Claire kept secrets from everyone over the years. The doc caught on quickly "Claire your not telling me everything about it , you have t be honest with me."

Claire sighed

"That's the thing being honest is not my thing i keep things inside it's who i am and it's not going to change I'll keep secrets from the fam when it's needed like me not be a virgin anymore that is most defiantly staying close to the vest. Look doc I know your trying to help and all but i feel like if i don't keeps secrets i could die. Secrets can make or break people, mine can break people that's way they are MY secrets. I'm getting kind of tired I'm just going to go back tp my room.....alone."

The doctor nodded because she didn't wan to upset her even more than she already was. Claire was just a kid she was not suppose to be going through this at young age.

Being depressed at young is not good your suppose to be loving life and having funny not in your room crying your self to sleep because you have your life and wan to die. It feels like your falling apart and can't put your self back together again because you don't remember who you were before. Before all the pain, suffering, heartache, tears, screaming, confusion, helplessness, numbness, hopelessness. It's hard on a kid who never knew they could feel like this they would start blaming themselves, "if only i wasn't born, if only i can turn back time, if only...." then that would just hurt even more because they know they can't change the past no matter how much they wish they could. It will drive them crazy when it comes to depression.

The doc sighed as she was Claire walking back into the building to her room. She didn't know what to do, she thought about calling Claire's family but she knew that it was going to go no where so she went to Tina to ask her about why Claire would talk like that.

The doc knocked on the door Tina said " Come in!" She walked in and sat down and looked at her. Tina looked up from her computer " Can i help you Dr. Martinez?" Dr. Martinez nodded "Yea, it's Claire...." Dr. Martinez told her everything that happened outside with Claire, she needed earning more of Claire trust.

Tina sighed " Dr. Martinez i know you care about Claire but you have to give her space to open up. You can't keep pushing her yesterday she screamed "YOU DON'T KNOW ME BITCH SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DO!" In my face because i reading off a list her family gave to me about her, you have to let her tell you ore about what has happened in her life you can't guess or act like you know because y'alls stories are different okay. People might have been through the same thing but every bodies stories are different, no one is the same. You care for her like a little sister i can see that but she is not your little sister, she is you patient and it is nice to you fighting for her but we can do anything if she doesn't want to fight for herself. Just it time she not going to be here that much longer anyways, when it gets close for her to leave she will be telling her whole life to us okay. Just breath and you can worry a little less now can you?"

The two knew that Claire was going to be a hard one to help and that means she might have to stay there longer because she is not working at it. To everyone like looks like she doesn't wan to get better that she is happy hating herself and her life. They have to figure something out to help Claire before it's too late to even reach her in the state that she is in. Change has to happen now.

The doctor nodded and walked out of the office and wen to her room, she was tired it had been a long day and well needed sleep was welled earned.