Do They Bother You? (Editing)

Chapter Thirteen

Early May- Three Weeks Before Graduation

The weeks after spring break were always my favorite. We had a week of review, then exams, then the last week of school. I knew I should have been more worried over exams, but I was mostly focused on just making it through the end of the year.

I'd gone back to classes after the break, despite both LJ and Matthew telling me I shouldn't. There wasn't a single class that Ethan was in that Finn or James weren't, though, so I felt mostly safe.

It was worse at night. Kam had put her foot down and said the boys weren't allowed in the room at night, so instead the two of us huddled together on her twin bed. My nightmares were less frequent, but had gotten more violent.

Finn had convinced me to start taking my medication again. I hadn't told LJ, but I knew he could tell that something was up. I was a little bit more mellow, but also more out of it than I usually was.

"Hey," James caught my attention, and I knew I'd been staring off into space again. "Are you alright?"

We were in the library, studying for our finals. I had a science textbook open in front of me, but hadn't even glanced at it.

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine," I murmured absently, turning the page of the textbook for no apparent reason, other than to make it look like I was studying. James sighed and put his pencil down.

"Lena, look at me."

I did, my eyes slowly rising to meet his gaze. It was the first time I'd looked at him straight since Sunday.

"Your eyes are cloudy," he murmured. He brushed a thumb under my eye. "And you have dark circles. Sweetheart, I really think you should consider skipping your exams. You have high enough grades in all of your classes to do so, and I think leaving school early will lift a tremendous weight off your shoulders."

I shook my head resolutely, going back to staring blankly at the textbook. "I want to be here for these last weeks," I said. "I want to be able to stand next to you and graduate. Is that such a horrible thing?"

"It is when it effects your health. Lena, you're dying inside, killing yourself to try and do something you don't need to. Go home early, and come back in a couple weeks for graduation. We'll still be here."

I didn't answer, just continued to flip pages in the textbook. James let out a frustrated breath. I could tell he wanted to storm off, blow off some steam on the soccer field or even vent to Finn, but he wouldn't leave me by myself. I was never by myself anymore.

"Go," I said, not looking up. "I know you want to."

"I hate seeing you like this." He sat forward in his chair, leaning across the table toward me. "I hate seeing you so upset and tired all the time. I know Finn got you on your medication again, but clearly that's doing you more harm than good."

"You don't know that," I whispered.

"Yeah, I do. I can see it, because I'm studying you every second of every goddamn day, wondering if you're suddenly going to crumble underneath all the weight you put on yourself." He stood abruptly, looming over me. Not in a threatening way- in an angry way. "When are you going to see that you're doing more harm to yourself than good?"

I turned my face away, so that he couldn't see my expression.

He threw his hands in the air, turning away. "I'm calling Kam. She'll walk you back to your dorm. If anything happens, I'll be at the front of the library."

He gathered his things and stocked off, leaving me alone. The whole time, I'd felt like he was shouting at me, even though he'd never raised his voice. I knew he was worried, and that it was the frustration that was getting to him. But he had things on his plate, too- I couldn't load him up with all of my problems as well. It wasn't fair.

I sat slumped in the chair, my hair fluttering around my face, until Kam came to get me.

"He's just worried," she murmured, helping me get my things together. "We all worry about you, Lena."

I nodded, but didn't reply.

Four days later, on Monday, we had our first exam- for me, AP Physics. Luckily, I had taken good notes all semester, and payed attention for the most part. LJ, however, seemed to be having a little bit more trouble.

I felt like it was my fault- I'd kept him distracted all the previous week, worrying about me and then being frustrated with me. I only hoped it didn't cause a shift in his grades. Finals counted for twenty percent- if he screwed this up, it could be over.

I was done before time was up- they always gave too much time. I sent a glance over my shoulder at LJ, to see if I could figure out how far he'd gotten, before gathering my thingings and heading to the front of the room.

"Thank you, Ms. Masterson," Professor Holmes said, straightening my papers. "You can go now."

I shot one last glance over my shoulder at LJ, to see that he was watching me carefully. I gave him a shaky smile.

When he smiled softly back, I felt like maybe I hadn't screwed up so bad. I walked out of the room with my books held tightly to my chest, feeling a little bit hopeful.

I had my eyes trained on the ground as I turned the corner, walking into one of the side hallways. There was a staircase at the end of it that would get me to my dorm faster- there weren't any classrooms, just lockers. But I'd taken this route so many times during the semester, it had never occured to me to that it might not be the best idea to walk down it while it was deserted.

I was almost at the end when he spoke.

"You always asked for it, you know."

My head snapped up, all the blood draining from my face as my eyes connected with his.

He had a baseball bat hanging loosely from his left hand. His eyes were bloodshot, like he'd been drinking, but his gaze was so sharp I knew he was completely lucid. Just like he'd been the last time.

He was blocking the stairs. I knew if I turned and ran, tried to get back into the main hallways, there was only a slim chance I'd make it- it was a good thirty feet, and he was faster than I was.

Oh god, I wished I had waited for J.

"Even before, you asked for it," he continued. "You flaunted yourself, acting all innocent, like you didn't know what you were doing. That used to make me furious. It still does."

Ethan took a step toward me, swinging the bat casually. I took two steps backward.

He smirked. "Oh, no," he said. "You aren't getting away from me, Lena. I'm here to finish what I started."

"What you started? You finished it that night at the dance, two years ago!" My eyes were wide, terror causing them to fill with tears. I went to take another step back.

He took three threatening steps forward, raising the bat. "Don't you dare move."

I froze.

"I wasn't finished with you, then. I was interupted," he spat. "But now? Everyone's in taking tests- no one to get in my way."

He raised the bat, swinging toward my head.

I screamed.