My Ex (BWWM)✔ (#Wattys2019)

14

"What about Jeremiah if it's a boy?" I asked Lucy as we ate lunch together. 

"Nice, but no," she said. I frowned, I wanted to give her a name for the baby that she would like.

"Okay, I got it," I said. She put the slice of pizza down giving me her attention. "Annabelle if it's a girl and Peeta if it's a boy since you love the hunger games so much," I said. She laughed, she does love the hunger game, "you can't resist," I told her.

"I'll admit, Peeta is a good name and Annabelle is really cute," she said, "but no," I frowned again.

"What?" I asked unbelievably. She loved the names, why not pick them? "Why?" I asked her.

"Jamal and I already picked names," she said. "I just wanted to hear what you got," she shrugged her shoulders.

"You hurt me," I said touching my heart. "What's the names and it better not be something ugly like Lucy," I joked.

"We were thinking Rose if its a girl and Myles if it's a boy," she replied.

"Myles, Nah," I said. It didn't sound that good. "However, Rose is great considering it's my middle name," I laughed.

"I know you'd love it, we wanted to name the baby after you," she said. I was this close to breaking down in tears. "You're like my sister and I love you. I couldn't think of a better person to have my baby named after," she said. I slid down the booth to her side and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you," I told her. That was really nice of her, "hopefully if it's a girl, she has my personality."

"Let's hope so, we can only hope it doesn't have mine," she said. We both started laughing, "remember when I-" she started.

''''''''''

"Hey," I said to Kevin entering the kitchen. He was dressed in his suit ready for work as usual. He looked up from his phone and gave me small smile, I walked to the fridge and took out the milk. I grabbed a bowl and made myself some cereal. I had to go shopping to add some real food into the house, now it's filled with junk food that I only eat. Kevin liked to live by a healthy diet ever since high school.

Kevin tapped his nails on the counter, "you okay?" I asked him. He nodded his head, he took a deep breath and went back to his phone. I took a seat on one of the stools and started to eat my cereal. "So," I said. Kevin looked at me, "what did you decide to do about the baby?" I asked him.

"Well, Alexis and I are gonna co-parent, I guess," he said shrugging his shoulders. "I'm sure we'll be able to find an agreement, we're meeting with our lawyers at lunch today," he said.

"Lawyers?" I asked him.

"Yeah, we need to have a contract," he said. I didn't question what he said any further. Couldn't they have reached an agreement without lawyers? But I guess this is what rich people having babies with their exes do. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous about everything, everyone around me was getting pregnant. I've even been thinking about getting a sperm donor, I've always wanted kids and I couldn't help but feel like I was running out of time.

Women do have children into even their fifties, but doctors do say it comes with more risk and I wanted a healthy baby. I shook my head, why was I even thinking about that? I'm thirty I'm sure, I had some time, but then time flies. "Brianna," Kevin called me. I looked up to him, "how do you feel about all of this?" He asked me.

"About what?" I asked him feeling a little clueless.

"Everything, Alexis, the baby," he answered me. I looked at him, how did I feel about all of this? I'm glad that girl finally broke it off with him, Kevin didn't love her and she deserved better than that. The baby: I didn't know how to feel about it. The fetus wasn't even technically considered as a person anyway, so I didn't know why we referred to it as a baby. I wanted to be happy for Kevin that he would finally get his chance to be a father, but deep down I felt jealous.

I missed what we used to have, I wanted to be in the position that Alexis is in. I wanted to be carrying his child. "It doesn't matter how I feel, Kev," I told him honestly. "I'll be out of your life in a year and nine months," I said doing some math in my head.

"Maybe or maybe not, Bri, I know you don't want to hear it, but I care about you. And I, unfortunately, care about what you think, you might not be in my life for long, however, it matters how you feel when you're in it."

"Kev," I said.

"Bri," he said. "I'm serious," he said. "I want to do right by you this time around, I want you in my life. I want to give us a second chance," I ignored him and went back to eating my cereal. "You know," he said making me look up again. "I don't know why you hate the idea of us being more than just a stupid contract."

"I don't know, maybe because last time you broke my heart," I said sarcastically. "Kevin, I don't have time for this," I said pointing at myself then at him. I really didn't, no matter how much I love him. I wanted to give us a try again, but I know where it's going to end. He was going to break my heart again, just like last time. "Why did you do it?" I asked him.

"Why did I what?" He asked as if having no idea what I was talking about.

"Break up with me," I replied. 

He looked uneasy, he passed his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. "I don't know," he answered. "I just wasn't thinking straight. We were about to graduate in a few months, I was afraid about the future," he lied. He was always a bad liar, every time he does he taps his feet on the floor whether he is standing or sitting and that's exactly what he was doing right now.

I stared at his feet then at him, I shook my head. All I asked was that he told me the truth. What hurt more than anything else was the fact he wouldn't just tell me the truth about everything. "Of course," I answered him. He looked into my dull eyes, I went back to eating and ignoring him. 

Kevin's stool moving caused me to startle, he walked up to me and just stood next to me. I looked at him wondering what was wrong. He took the tip of his thumb and wiped the side of my mouth which I guess had milk on it or something. "Thank you," I told him.

He didn't move, he put his hand under my chin and pulled my face closer to him. He pecked my lips gently, I pulled away quickly when I realized what he was doing. He stared at me, "I'm sorry," he said shaking his head. He then left the kitchen. After a few seconds, I heard the front door open and close.

AN

Should Brianna give Kevin a chance?

Au Revoir...