My Ex (BWWM)✔ (#Wattys2019)

30

 I opened the door to the house again, I couldn't believe Kevin sold the house. He loved this place, I hope he didn't think he could buy my forgiveness or something. "Kev!" I called him since I needed to talk and change his mind about this crazy ordeal. I spotted his keys by the front door, I knew he was here plus it was Sunday. Sundays were the only days Kevin would take off without needing a reason. I walked to the kitchen and he wasn't there, I looked all downstairs and he was nowhere to be found.

He was probably upstairs, I skipped up the stairs to his room, I knocked but there was no answer. I opened the door and he was just coming out the bathroom. "Oh," he said. "I didn't hear you come in," he had his towel wrapped around his lower body. His hair and skin were wet. His tanned skin was glowing, I stared at his body my jaw dropped. I bit my lower lip, he was extremely sexy. He scratched his throat making me look back to his face. "You wanted something?" He asked.

"I just came from your dad's," I said. He disappeared into his closet to get dress. I took a seat on the tip of his bed waiting for him. "Kev, why would you do that?" I asked him. He came out of the closet dressed in jeans and a hoodie reminding me of when we were teenagers. We had to wear uniforms to school and I could've sworn every time I saw Kevin outside of school he was in a hoodie.

"Do what?" He asked playing innocent.

"You know what I'm talking about," I frowned. "You can't buy my forgiveness, Kev," I told him. He looked down, he then walked back into his bathroom.

"I'm not trying to," he said from the bathroom. "I just thought you would be happy about it," he added. I heard the dryer running. He was now drying his hair. The sound of the dryer made me unable to reply to him. After a few minutes, I heard the dryer turn off. He came out of the bathroom, his hair now fully dried and brushed.

"What about you?" I asked him.

"What about me?" He asked back.

"You could've said the money for your kids and you hate living in apartments especially one in the city," I said.

"Bri," he called me. "I think my chances of having kids have run out, the money was just sitting there and it needed something to do. And I don't need this big house, I'll be closer to work in the city which means less gas money," he tried to assure me.

"Doesn't mean you'll love it," I frowned. "You know us being divorce means you might lose your chance of being C.E.O right?" I asked him.

"Yes, I do," he replied. "It was a lie anyway. Not settling down and having a family does not make me irresponsible. It just means I prefer to be celibate."

"Not what the board will see," I told him. What he said was true. Some people prefer to not have families. In fact not having a family means more time at work and wouldn't that be a good thing. Kevin was acting all cool now, but I knew the family thing was hurting him. That's all he ever wanted, a family of his own. He always said he wanted like ten kids and he would buy a big house to put them in. He would adopt half of the kids though, unlike every spoiled white guy I've met. He actually had a great childhood and he couldn't wait to give it to his own kids one day.

"Bri, I'll handle the board," he assured me again. "Now, you wanted your freedom and now you got it," he walked back into the closet. He then comes out with his shoes on, he looked like he was going somewhere. "Just sign the divorce papers," he added. 

I got up and stood next to him, I stared at his body. "Why are you doing this?" I asked him. He licked his pink lips and ran his hands through his recently brushed hair. 

"You wanted your freedom and you got it, what's the big deal?" He asked me. I did want my freedom, but now that it was a possibility, I didn't really want to take it. Maybe it was the fact that he brought my freedom or maybe it was because although painful, I enjoyed being married to him for these three months. 

"Yeah," I said. "I just have to read over the papers," I told him. He nodded his head, he went back to his closet. He then came out again and grabbed his phone. "Where are you going?" I asked him. I knew it wasn't any of my business but I couldn't help but feel curious about his whereabouts. 

"Alexis'," he answered. "I just got to make sure she's okay. She left yesterday and I don't know, I have a feeling she isn't," I nodded my head answering. "You know your way out," he added about to leave the room. I grabbed his arm stopping him. He turned and looked at me wondering why I stopped him. "Bri, I really have to go," he said pointing at the door.

"I know," I told him. "Are you okay?" I asked him. 

"I'm fine," he answered.

"Kev, we've known each other long enough for me to know when you're not okay," I told him. "You loss your kid," I told him. I probably will never understand how that felt, but I know it couldn't be easy. I couldn't picture myself waiting for a baby and then losing it. That was all different for Kevin, he was happy to be a father. In fact, a father has always been one of his goals, it might not have been how he expected, but it was a baby regardless. "I know you're trying to be all tough and what not, but you not expressing emotions right now is worrying me."

"What do you want me to do?" He asked me. "Cry?" He asked.

"Yes, that would be fine," I replied. "Anything would be fine. Get angry, beat someone up, spend the day in bed, cry to sleep, anything would be better than acting like you don't feel a thing."

"Moping around won't bring he or she back," he said. "The baby's gone and nothing I do will change that."

"That's true, but it's okay to be weak for a moment," I searched his eyes for some type of emotion. He put his head down not letting me see his eyes. "Kev," I said. I let go of his hand and leaned in giving him a hug. At first, he didn't exchange the gesture, after a while, he wrapped his arm around me. He rested his head on my shoulder, I rubbed his back trying to assure him it would be fine. "Everything will be fine," I whispered in his ear.

AN

It's okay to be weak for a moment...

I'm so tired of society expecting men to be strong, emotionless. What are they, robots? A real man cries, they're in touch with their feelings.

All of you guys should know that. It's okay to cry. It's okay to grieve, it's okay to feel pain. It makes us human.

Au Revoir...