2nd place in Wicked Awards
3rd place in The Waterfall Awards
"You're real funny Kevin Reynolds, the marriage is just a contract so no I'm not going to be faithful to you. If I feel like getting some dick, I will and that's final," I told him.
"No y...
He closed his eyes, "you wanted to move on, you said you forgave me, I didn't force you too. People who forgive don't do the crap you just did."
I looked at him unable to answer him or say anything to prove him wrong. The truth was he was right, I did agree to forgive and I shouldn't have done what I just did. He huffed and ran his hand over his face. I stared at his frustrated face thinking of something, an excuse to tell him. "I'm sorry," I told him again. "I really am," I added. "And I do forgive you."
"It doesn't seem like it," he replied. He called the valet and asked for his car, I watched as the young man left to get his car. "Respect is a tricky thing, it's always hard gaining respect from friends or family because they always assume you are nothing. I value respect, I give people respect so I can earn it back and you know how fast someone can lose respect for you?" I shook my head no waiting for him to tell me. "Faster than you can say the word respect," he replied.
"All it takes is one bad move, one mistake, then they can find an excuse not to respect you," he said.
"I understand that, but I'm sure your employers are not going to respect you less," I hoped. "I'm sorry," I told again. His car came and the valet handed him the key.
He sighed, he made a head movement asking if I wanted to get in and go home. I nodded my head and entered the passenger side, I watched as he walked to the other side and entered the driver's side. He put the key in the ignition and began to speed his way to my apartment. To say I felt terrible for what I did would be an understatement. I was sorry for what happened, but how did he expect to react.
He was just with Bruce, Bruce was touching his waist. I probably over-sexualized the touch, I'm pretty sure if I didn't know he was into men I wouldn't have mind. However, he was into men and Bruce was touching his waist, on top of that, they had history. He then had the audacity to ask me what was wrong. I told him multiple times that I was okay, he shouldn't have pushed me to tell him what was wrong. And I shouldn't have been jealous to begin with, he was not my man and probably will never be if we continue to go like this. I sighed, I turned and looked at Kevin.
His eyes were fixed on the road as he drove, he wasn't talking to me, figures. He took one last turn and I was in front of my apartment. I looked at the place I've been living in for the past few weeks, I dreaded the thought of going up there knowing I angered someone tonight. I looked at the time in the car, it was ten minutes before midnight. In ten more minutes, it would be another year.
Contrary to popular belief, nothing would have changed. A new year didn't change us nor did it offer us a brand new start. Years are just what we human put in front of us, it doesn't mean a thing. Just because there was a new year doesn't mean it would your year for your resolution, you'll still be the same person you were the year or day before. Kevin put the car in park and looked over at me. He was probably wondering why I haven't left his car now. I didn't even know why I haven't left the car. "I can't do this," Kevin said.
"Do what?" I asked him having no idea what he was talking about.
"Us or whatever the hell this is," he replied. "I was seventeen," he said. I raised my eyebrow for him to elaborate, "I made a mistake and I've told you sorry a million times and I won't ever stop telling you how sorry I am for hurting you like that. In fact sorry will never enough to show you how bad I feel about all of this, I betrayed you, I hurt you, I was being selfish and only thinking for myself. I caused you your friendship with Lucy," I opened my mouth about to tell him that wasn't his fault, but he cut me off.
"It was my fault, Lucy wanted to tell you and I asked her not. I should've told you," he said, "it wasn't her place and she knew that," I nodded my head. "If I was you I'd probably hate myself forever and I do not blame you for hating me," he put emphasis on the word not making sure I heard it. 'You're entitled to it, you have a right to hate me and feel however you want to feel about me."
Hating was the last way I felt about him and I didn't want to hate him either. Hate is such a strong and hurtful word, I was disappointed, sad, mad, but I didn't hate him. "I don't hate you," I told him.
"And that's the problem," he replied. I looked out the window as fireworks started going off already. It wasn't even midnight yet, they looked beautiful. "I know you want to forgive me, Bri. I know you want to forget that this ever happened, but it did. It did happen. We were in love, I cheated on you for a year, and I broke up with you on our anniversary," hearing him say them just made me realize how bad they were. "I did that and I want you to realize that," he added.
"I know," I answered him.
"Good," he nodded his head. "I love you," he blurted out of nowhere. "Always did and always will. I can't explain to you why I cheated on you," he said honestly. "I don't even know why I did, to be honest, I betrayed your trust and I don't think I can ever gain it again. I don't want us to be anything, not even friends if you can't trust me. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and you clearly do not trust me," he said.
"Kev," I told him. "I just need some time," I added. He broke my trust and it wasn't easy to gain it in the first place. I didn't trust people that easily and when he finally gained it after months of asking me to go out with him and months of convincing me he was worth my trust, my love, and my everything. And now he shattered it when he decided to break up with me, the moment he wouldn't be honest with me, and after finding out his infidelity, everything ounce I had left was destroyed.
"Yeah," he said. "I just want you to try," he said. "Just stop thinking I want to make out with every guy or every girl you see me with because I don't," he said. "Truth is I don't want to touch, kiss, make out, have sex with anyone that's not you," he informed me. "I can't constantly be worried about what you will think of my actions or if I did something wrong," he added. "I can't keep feeling sorry for something that happened years ago, you need time, you got time, but I won't do that awkward don't trust relationship," he finished.
At that moment, I heard fireworks after fireworks, I looked at the clock and it was midnight. It was a new year, but nothing seemed new about it except the numbers. Kevin looked at the clock also and he huffed shaking his head. I took my seatbelt out and grabbed my stuff from the back seat. "Happy new year, Kev," I said. I gave him one last look and opened the door and got out of the car. The cold air hit my face and I felt snow fall on my hair. I looked up, oh great, it was now snowing. What a great way to start the new year.
AN
How's everyone doing?
Hey guys, I have a new book out. Please go to my profile to check it out and tell me what you think so far.
Brother's Girl
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"You shouldn't be coming up here, my brother's a light sleeper," I said to her seeing her image behind me from my desktop.
"It'll be fine," she answered me. She came up behind me putting her hands on my tense shoulders. "What's wrong baby?" She whispered in my ear.
"Sweetheart, you know we shouldn't be doing this. This is wrong," I said.
"Really?" She asked. "You didn't seem to think so when you were fucking me yesterday."
Falling in love could be the worst or best thing. Falling in love with someone you can't have is just painful. Falling in love with your brother's girl is even worse.
