just another fangirl {a.i}

Media

I woke up to a swarm of notifications from my phone, familiar sounds from Twitter, Snapchat, and mostly, Instagram. I don't usually get this much attention online, therefore I'm surprised to see all this buzz. Once I pick up my phone, a dangerous thought crosses my mind: The picture!! Someone probably leaked it!!! * 5 missed calls from Ashton * I quickly dialed his number, which I knew by heart and whispered to the phone: "pick up, please pick up!!" Finally, a worried and coarse version of Ashton's voice said: "hello??? Ashley."
(Me: M Ashton: A)
M: Yes?? Ashton I'm concerned what happened???
A: You haven't heard??
M: Of course not!!! I'm asking you!!!
A: Well, um, you remember the shady fan from yesterday?
M: How could I forget?
A: Well she kindaaa
M: No
A: She
M: No
A: Leaked
M: No
A: The photo of us kissing
My heart sank to the floor, confirming my worst fears.
M: How did the media react??
A: Let's just say they didn't like it.
M: I knew it
A: Well
* a long pause *
M: Well what?
A: I don't know!! Look Ashley, I like you so much. I LOVE you and I don't say that very often. I love you so much I want to shout it out to the world as soon as I can. It kills me to see you upset. I want to make my relationship with you public. I want to do extravagant public displays of affections with you, unless of course you don't like that sort of thing. But my manager says we have to wait at least 3 weeks. If it were up to me, I would have made my relationship official with you (if you wanted that) as soon as I kissed you. I love you, Ashley.
M: I love you too, Ashton. I just don't want my reputation to be ruined, the media will drag my name through the mud, trust me, I spend most of my life on the internet, and it can be an amazing place but it can also be a living hell. I don't want to be the side girlfriend who all the fans hate, I just can't. It's too much for me, I have enough to worry about. I think (I stumbled on my words) that we should take a break until we can officially be together. I love you so much Ashton, but I just can't be with you right now. As soon as your manager agrees to making our relationship official, I'll get back together with you. As of right now, we just can't risk being seen with each other. I'm so sorry, but I think this is what's best for our relationship right now.
A: I think you're right, Ashley. The second my manager says we can get back together we will. I want the entire world to know that Ashley Blakey is my girlfriend.

He said those words with such meaning, such determination, that I just had to believe him. Not that I ever had a doubt about us.
M: Okay, for now, we should have a "long-distance" relationship. We'll call each other all the time and text everyday.
A: We don't always have to be together to be "together".
M: Exactly (laughs)
A: I think we should stop talking now... as much as I enjoy hearing your voice, you have to go check the social medias, I'll try to get things in control.
M: thanks, that means a lot. Bye Ashton.
A: Ok, bye Ashle-
I cut him off by a millisecond. I sighed and rested my head down to my bed. I started checking the social medias. "OMG, WHO DOES THIS TWIT THINK SHE IS? I BET SHE'S JUST USING HIM." Barked one instagram user under the leaked photo.
"UM, YEAH I KNOW RIGHT? PROBABLY SOME FAKE FAN WHO IS A ——————

I can't read the rest. It hurts too much that a bunch of people who don't even know me, think that they know everything about me. I'm the subject to lots of drama, gossip, and judging. It's too much, I feel like crying. I love Ashton, and I know that being in a relationship with him will come with challenges. Luckily, I'm willing to go through those risks and challenges for him. These people don't know who I am, it'll get better when they know. Three more weeks. Just three more weeks. And even if it takes a little longer, I'm willing to wait for him.
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TWO CHAPTERS IN TWO DAYS!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT? VOTE AND COMMENT PLS DON'T BE A GHOST READER. BYE SEE YALL IN LESS THAN A WEEK (hopefully)
Edit: 1/12/2018 crazy how ONE YEAR can change a person also I was 100% living vicariously through Ashley.