THE HEADACHE

celebrate/death

Jake: I would like to celebrate my survival which is why i invited you all here. Neiko, Slippaz, davii,Kristin,Oreo,Brit,brii,Kayanna, and marquis.

Neiko: so where's the cake?

Jake: DID YOU FUCKIN HERE ME SAY ITS MY B-DAY..NO😑talking bout cake. Its 9:00 we ain't gonna get no cake

I was celebrating survival,my kidnapping and to celebrate my good friends. All my friends who have been with me through thick and thin. I rented a house in the hills to hold my celebration.

Everything was going well, Neiko getting shut down by Oreo, Slippaz telling stale jokes no one laughing at,marquis doing something gay as usual,everyone else enjoying themselves, things were great and I was stashing condoms all over the house because you never know who's gonna get drunk.

I got my eyes set on davii,Kristin and oreo. At least one  gotta  lemme hit it. I was looking through the window while stashing a condom in a flower pot when I noticed a car, a silver tida parked outside.

We all came here in a bus, and that car wasn't here when we pulled up. I got my Python(spinnaz for who don't know) and decided to check it out I called Slippaz with me.

Jake: who's car is this?

Slippaz:I don't know didn't we all come here In one vehicle?

Jake: exactly we have an unwanted visitor. The car hood is still warm they are still here😑

Immediately after all lights in the house went out and we heard a bitchy girly scream. We head back as fast we could. We  couldn't see shit but we managed to get back to the crowd. The lights came back a minute after.

Jake: are you girls alright?

Oreo: yeah, but we didn't scream.

Jake: so wait,lemme check this out. All bitches I mean girls are present but where's😐 marquis.

Slippaz: are you saying marquis is a bitch?

Suddenly as if by magic a body fell from above us and crashed through the table.

Slippaz: Why😭😭😭😭the snacks.

Jake:😐😕 bruh

I inspected the body and to our surprise it was marquis,dead with a Cheeto stuck in his ass from when he crashed through the table. We all
Started panicking and arguing.

Jake: WHAT THE FUCK!!

Neiko: HE'S DEAD!!

Davio:WHO KILLED HIM!??

Oreo: JAKE😑

Jake: fuck you I didn't kill him!

Oreo: but you did call us all here😑 who do you think we'd suspect bruh its common sense😑

Jake: ohk fuck that logic!

Kayanna: look!

Jake: we all see the Cheeto Kayanna😑

Kayanna: no Jake its a note.

Jake: oh yeah for real.

A note was in his mouth but it was stuck in his teeth we had to pry his mouth open with a piece of wood from the broken table. After a few tries we finally got it open.

Jake:😲uggh damn that smell is he supposed to stink already, its like pussy had a fight with shit in his mouth.

I took the note and it read" fish titties".

Neiko: what? Fish titties?😕

Jake: I mean do fish even have titties?

Slippaz: what was the cause of death.

Jake: how the fuck should I know!!!???,

Neiko: on his face look, suction marks.

Jake: is that even a thing?

Neiko: with the roundness around the mouth and the foul stench  its safe to assume he was plunged😑

Jake:plunged😐 wait you're saying someone used a shitty plunger to kill him I mean who does that. Plunged him shittily the bastards😑. I did some researched this house's toilet been backed up for years and the owner got so tired of plunging he just left the plunger in the toilet😑 so that plunger that killed marquis has been soaking in that shit for years.

Davii:eewwwww Jake dah fuck.

Brit: why would you research that.

Jake: like a fun fact thing.

We covered marquis  up and sprayed him with some air freshener and got our heads together. I told them we would split in groups of two and do a search on the house.

Jake: Slippaz and Neiko. You are a team while I'll take davii,Kristin Brit and Oreo, oh and Kayanna

Neiko: dah fuck you said groups of two:

Jake: yeah as in two groups my group and your group😑duuh.

Slippaz: hell no we want a girl in our group.

Jake: no time to reassign people,there's a killer here😑

We headed out and searched the entire house, we searched for hours and not a scratch, not a peep then the lights went out again. We heard two more screams coming from the halls. We ran in haste and once again as soon as we reached the lights came. Back.

Jake: FUUUCCKKK!!!

We found Neiko and Slippaz both dead,throats slashed and bleeding out. I got super pissed and ran leaving the girls to search on my own.

Jake: YOU SICK FUCK!!! I'LL KILL YOU

I somehow ended up at the back of the house looking at the sky, remembering the good times we had. When  I caught Neiko backing fist with kerosene oil and somehow created so much friction and heat he caught his dick on fire.

Slippaz when he was so desperate to get a girl dressed up like one to try and get lesbians. Or even !marquis when he told me to watch his gf while he went to the store, make sure she doesn't go anywhere he said.

Jake:I'm sorry😭 I fucked her broo!!!!.she was just asking for this dick😭.

While reminiscing someone closed the backdoor locking me out and I heard all the girls screaming out.

Jake: what the fuck is happening?