Watch me// Ryden • Brallon

14. Don't'cha love me

Its the first practice since Dallon was taken unduly from them. Spencer taps out a beat listlessly, his drumsticks hanging from his hands as though Dallon took away his motivation when he passed.

Ryan plays beautifully, and ignores the lead singer with a quiet determination. He channels all his emotions into his worn down guitar and destroys his fingers on the strings as though he can bring the other boy back if he's good enough.

Brendon can barely sing without tears falling dramatically down his face. Its almost pathetic, but Ryan doesn't call the other boy out, too tired from pretences of normality.

Look on the bright side
See the silver lining
Pull out your thoughts
Don't leave them in hiding

"Like theres a fucking silver lining."
Brendon slams the mic back in its stand, his words spat out like poison.

"Theres us"
Ryan comments from the side, and its not a question, but its not a statement either.

"Because you're so in love with me" Brendon attempts to roll his red eyes.

"Guys....."
Spencer taps his wrist and speaks with a quiet nervousness as though the other two were porcelain, easily broken.

"I just..."
Brendon runs his hands through his hair.

"Whatever."
Ryan passes it off, but bites his already chapped lip.

Spencers wrist.
Brendons hair.
Ryans lip.
Wrist.
Hair.
Lip.

All their little ticks, all the little indicators that somethings wrong, as though you didn't know.

"Ry?" Brendon appears at Ryans door again, but thankfully Ryans dressed this time "we need to talk"

"So talk."

"We need to talk."

Ryan sighs, then grabs a jacket and steps out of his house, and together they walk to a park, the little kids scurry away from their black clothes and morbid expressions. They take their place upon the swings.

"So. Us?"

"Us."
Ryan confirms.

"You ok with that?"

"Not like you gave me much choice."

"I....I need someone, and apparently you're my soulmate, or Dallon was, but that's, he's..." Brendon trails off, he doesn't need to finish his sentence.

"Happy to be of assistance."

"I don't know if this is you shutting up to deal with this, or you've just always been emotionless."

"Maybe you should have paid more attention."

"Thanks for proving my point."

"God, Bren, what do you want me to say?"

"That. Exactly that. Some form of emotion."

"So you're provoking me."

"Ry,"

"You don't get to do this, Bren, this is my loss, you got the guy, I get to grieve him."