Nobody is Truly Alone

The Realization

          I never did think that I would be all alone.  I guess I just assumed I would always have someone; whether it be my mom, my dad, some sort of soulmate, or a best friend.  Although, who's to say that they haven't felt alone at least once in their life?  To be perfectly honest, I could turn around right now, and just go home. I could go home and be with my dad.  But as much as I love my dad, that's not what I want to do.

When I was a child my mom and I always talked about my future. My (hypothetical) job, husband, house, children, happiness, and just about everything in between. Life always seemed like it was a dream; it was your reality, do what you please with it. She always hinted at the probability that when I came of age, I would get out of the house, and move to a place of my dreams. She always said, "Though I want you to be happy, I hope you will stick around so we can see each other all the time."

I always promised her that I would never leave, but she knew me better then I knew myself. "One day you'll want to be free. You'll want to get away, and I won't stop you."

That seemed as if it was eons ago. My mother's death hit me hard; I was only twenty-one years old ~ she was only sixty! In my mind, sixty is too young to die.

We were going to go on this trip as a family. My dad had stayed behind in Washington to take care of all of the insurance policies and the last will and testament for my mom. I sat on the edge of the pier, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. California seemed like a dream; the location that I thought my life would take place in as an adolescent. I stood up and walked back down the pier to the beach. I had purposefully left my flip flops in the hotel, but was starting to regret it as a ran across the burning hot sidewalk, back to my room.

When I got back to my room, I plopped down on my bed, exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. That's when it hit me. Why go back home, back to Washington? This is the life i truly always wanted; the beaches and ocean by my side, the cool, salty breeze running through my hair wherever I went. Here, I could be free. Now content, I walked over to my bay window and got myself comfortable in the sill. The sun was setting, leaving an amazing color scheme of sky behind the clusters of the magnificent palm trees.

I like palm trees.

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Sooooo this first chapter is kinda depressing, sorry about that. Plz read on, it gets better, I promise!!
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