vanilla // lrh

twenty three

I decided against asking Luke why we here: at a hospital, in the 'Burn Victims Unit' to visit his mother.

I was suprised he had taken me there in the first place.

His face was painted with a prominent forehead crease of worry, and his lip never seemed to be released from the cage of his teeth.

His hands, massive and cold, wrapped around mine in a tight grip, leading me down the hallway to a door on the left, propped open.

Luke swifty turned to me, holding his left pointer finger up to the pink of his lips.

"Hey, mum," He said, so gently that if words were objects, they would've been glass.

Luke's tall figure walked to the right side of the bed, as I followed cautiously like a shadow.

"I brought someone I'd like you to meet."

I peered over the white blankets to reveal a hefty woman covered from her neck down, a machine to support air wrapped around her nose and mouth. Her eyes were closed, blonde curls falling down to her shoulders, just like Luke's.

Her pale face was the only skin uncovered, scars of fire dancing across her.

"Mum, this is my friend Ellie. The one I've been talking to you about?" Luke fell to his knees as he spoke, interlocking his fingers with him Mom's.

"You'd think she was beautiful, I can practically hear you shouting at me for her only being my friend."

His voice was soft and calming, he talked slow, and looked right at her the whole time, as if she were awake.

"I brought her here just to meet you," Luke said, moving his eyes to their holding hands. "We would love it if you would wake up."

I felt my heartbeat begin to slow, as a pain jolted through my chest.

Luke raised his mother's hand to his mouth, kissing it sweetly. I was amazed at what I was witnessing.

"We're going to go now, Mum. I love you."

He stood from his knees, leaning over to form a hover over her, placing another kiss to her forehead, and releasing her hand from his touch.

Luke stood tall, swallowed deep, and his baby blues fell on me like a spotlight.

We stood in silence for a matter of seconds until I realized he was definitely not in the mood to talk, so I kept all the racing questions I had to myself.

"You ready?" I asked him, practically in a whisper. He seemed so gentle that even a loud work could kill him in an instant.

He nodded slowly, and began out the door.

We walked through the hall, into the elevator, and out of the building without a single word.

The energy felt as that of a funeral.

The once dark and clouded sky was replaced by light rain with dribbles of thunder, the perfect soundtrack.

Once we were in the car, I immediately steadied my eyes on my side window, not wanting to look at Luke.

Something felt wrong.

He immediately turned the radio all the way down, and the only noise from the car was his breathing, and my heart beating, very, very loud.

I tried to distance my thoughts of Luke and what I had just witnessed, but the only other thought that came to mind was the fact that Luke was going to fight Alec in two days, and I had to be there.

Just as I was having an internal panic attack, I heard Luke's lips open, breaking the silence.

"I'm a bad person, Eloise."

I turned to face him, but decided against it, focusing on my shoes below me.

"Don't say that," I said, my voice cracking at it's first time being thrown out of my mouth in what seemed like days.

"I am." Luke argued, his voice increasing in strength. "You don't know me."

"I know you well enough to know you aren't a bad person," I told him, dancing my feet upwards and downwards in attempt to distract myself from the severity of the conversation.

"You don't. I've done so many bad things."

"Some times good people do bad things," I said, almost automatically, as if I had copied and pasted it from an advice column.

But it was true.

Michael was not a bad person because he smoked.

Ashton was not a bad person for loving so hard he can no longer control himself.

"Ellie, if you knew some of the things I've done you'd never speak to me again."

This time I decided to look at him, and really look at him.

Even though the sun was nearly setting, he shielded his eyes with sunglasses, his jaw clenched. His hand that gripped at the steering wheel looked as if it were about to pop the entire wheel like a pimple.

"That isn't true." I said, with a new found confidence.

I believed in my gut that Luke was a good person, no matter how rude he could get.

A bad person would not look at their mother with such despair in their eyes.

A bad person would not swear to protect someone they hardly know.

A bad person is not capable of holding such light in their eyes as he.

Luke coughed to clear his throat, then exhaled slowly.

"Eloise, I fucking did that to my mother."

"No, Luke, you didn't. You can't blame yourself for-"

In one swift motion, he slammed on the breaks, causing my body to quickly jolt forward and snap back.

He lifted the glasses away from his eyes and stared at me, coldly.

"I set the house that she was in on fire. It was me. I did fucking do it. It is my fucking fault. Did you see her? You know why she's like that? Because of me, Eloise. I fucking burned my mother into her own death."

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next chapter is a big one get ready my dudes.