Embarrassing Stories (Klinghoffer)

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Summery: You were going on tour with your best friend, Josh, and his band. On your way to the next gig, you get hungry. He doesn't listen so you start telling everyone funny stories about him. By the way, you and Anthony are a couple.

You held your bags in your arms, walking to the door. "Did anyone leave anything?" You asked looking back at Anthony, Chad, Flea and Josh. The all looked around. "Nah, we're good." Flea gave you a thumbs up. You opened the door walking down the hall. You guys looked likes duck walking out of the lobby. Your guys' security guard was waiting with the car. You all piled in the large vehicle, putting all the stuff on the seats. There was the 2 front seats and another row, but the other seats were ripped out so there was a large space in the back for a few people to lay down. The security guard sat in the passengers side because Josh insisted on driving.

You, Anthony, Flea and Chad sat in the back leaning against the sides. Josh started the car and started driving on the road. You were on the road for about 5 minutes before anyone noticed no one was talking.

"Damn, it's quiet." You said chewing on your nails.

"Yeahh." Anthony sighed.

Chad pursed his lips nodding his head.

The radio was turned on due to the awkwardness. 'Crazy Train'  by Ozzy Osbourne started playing putting a smile on everyone's face.

"Crazy! But that's how it goes!" Anthony sang, head banging lightly.

"Millions of people living as foes!" Flea chimed in.

"Maybe it not too late!" Chad bellowed.

"To learn how to love and forget how to hate!" You threw your hands up.

"Metal wounds not healing!" Josh yelled from the front seat.

"Life's a bitter shame!" Anthony started again.

"I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!" You all yelled including Derek, the security guard.

"I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!" You sang again.

- - - - - -

As the song died down you looked out the window. You saw a billboard for a waffle/pancake house. "Josh! Can we go eat Waffles?" You yelled. He looked in the mirror and locked eyes with you. . . I mean the best he could with his glasses. "Why? It's 5:23 in the morning, I doubt their open." He said shrugging. "Well, we should at least try. I'm hungry." You pleaded. "No, it's too far off the road." He continued to drive. You gave him a sly smile. "Alright, well, I guess you wouldn't mind if I told a few stories to pass the time." Anthony, Flea, Chad Made a circle around you sitting Indian style placing their elbows on their knees. Derek turned around in his seat with a wide smile.

"So, it was the 8th grade. Me and Josh went for a walk to the zoo. We-" Josh cut you off. "Not that one! Anyone but that one!" He yelled. You smiled looking at the guys around you. "I cant wait." Anthony giggled. "We walked around for a while. We got to the sheep exhibit and I wanted to go in. So the lady opened the gate for us, we walked in and started taking pictures with a polaroid. One of the sheep ran up to Josh and nudged his crotch." Josh Started screaming. "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!" You all laughed. "Finish the story!" Flea screamed over Josh. "I guess that was the-." Josh put his head in his hand for a second. "Please, don't finish that story! We'll go get waffles!" He yelled. Chad 'ughed'. "Are we gonna hear the rest?" You glanced up at Josh. His eyes said, "Oh God, please don't." You shrugged. "Nah, I get waffles." The all sighed scooting back to the wall. "Lame!" Chad cupped his mouth. Josh released the breath he was holding. He mouthed, 'Thank you.' You smiled at him.

Josh to the next exit to the waffle/pancake house. "I've got the car, go eat." Derek said. You all got out of the car and walked into the restaurant. You were seated at the farthest back table. Anthony slid to the end of the booth patting the seat next to him, "Come sit by me.". You smiled sitting next to him. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders squeezing you to his side. Flea sat next to you while Chad sat in one of the chairs across the way with Josh. The waitress walked over with a smile. "What can I getcha'?" She asked. "The Monster Explosion." Chad started. "The Double Decker." Flea handed back the menu. "Umm, the Blue Mouth, please." Anthony said with that sweet smile. She turned to you after receiving Anthony's menu. "Just regular waffles." Josh kicked your shin under the table. You glairing at him. Josh turned to the lady, "She'll have the Top Hat. And I will have the Rocky Mountain."

You stomped on Josh's foot after she left. "Ow! What was that for?" He asked with a frown. "Exactly, what was that for?" You asked back. "I'm not letting you get regular waffles. That's not gonna happen." He said with a straight face. You shrugged and turned to Anthony. " I haven't said 'good morning' yet. Good morning." He kissed your pink lips. His tongue slowly made its way into your mouth.  You put you hand on his chest to pull away. "What?" He asked looking into your eyes. You moved your head to see everyone's reaction. Flea and Chad both had their chins in their hands smiling really wide looking at you awkwardly. Josh looked like he was going to throw up. His lip was curled and was on the edge of his seat. "That's what." You giggled. He chucked and sat straight. "Oh." The food came out just in time to break the silence.

Chad's Monster Explosion was 3 pancakes stacked on top of each other with whipped cream, cookie crumbs, chocolate chips, syrup, and chocolate fudge drizzled over it all. "Diabetes, here I come." He said digging in.

Flea's Double Decker was 2 pancakes stacked like a sandwich with whipped cream, strawberries and syrup. "Good God, it's perfect." He stared at it with his fork before finally eating it.

Anthony's Blue Mouth was 2 waffles with blueberries, blackberries, and some kind of blue drizzle. It was gonna give him a blue mouth . . . blue fingers, blue shirt, blue- Well, anything he will ever touch. "Its so blue." He stated furrowing his eyebrows.

Josh's Rocky Mountain was 3 uneven pancakes with chocolate chips, marshmallow puff, and nuts. "Holy crap." He just sat there. "What have I done?" He was a little overwhelmed.

Your Top Hat was 3 waffles. The base was one big waffle and the next two were slightly smaller giving it a top hat look. It had chocolate syrup, and a bunny made out of whipped cream on the top. "Jesus, how is that bunny so cute?" You asked smiling.

"If I die it's on you." Josh said with a mouth full of pancakes.

You laughed as you shoved waffles in your face. The waitress walked over looking down at a paper. "How's everyone's food?" You all stopped eating and chewing almost instantly. She looked up to see 5 faces looking up at her with food still hanging out of their faces. She made a disgusted face and walked away a little too fast. It didn't really faze them, you all went back to eating. All the plates were licked clean with in 5 minutes. "Damn, that was good." Flea said holing his belly. Everyone nodded. Chad leaned back into the booth, "You win again, pancakes."

You all chipped in on the bill with whatever cash you had. "We good to go?" Anthony asked looking into your eyes. "Yeah, I just need to pee." Josh said standing up. "Thanks, I would have died not knowing that." You said chuckling. He nodded gracefully, "Your welcome." The second the bathroom door closed Flea and Chad scooted closer. "Finish the story." Chad smiled.

"So," you started, "the sheep nudged his crotch and he go a boner." You said with a straight face. They all busted out in laughter. "Don't let him know I told you guys." You laughed along with them. "You can trust us when we say we wont." Anthony said. They started to settle down just in time. Anthony started talking as Josh neared the table, "Sup, sheep pedo?" You pursed your lips, "Smooth, he'll never know." You said sarcastically. "I fucking hate you." Josh said walking to the car. You all laughed hysterically. You jumped up from the booth hand in hand with Anthony and ran to the car.

Josh was leaning against the car with his legs and arms crossed. As you approached the car you let go of Anthony's hand, "Hold on, I'll be in there in just a second if he doesn't ill me." You kissed his cheek as he got in the car. You waited for the door to shut before you started talking. "Josh, I'm sorry, but a story that great cant go untold." You smiled holding his hand in yours. He looked down, "Now they all think I'm weird." He sighed. "Oh, Josh. We always thought you were weird." You chucked. He giggled trying to still be mad. "Yeah. Get in the car, loser, before I drive off without you." You smiled letting go of his hand. "Love you." You blew him a kiss. He shook his head laughing.

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