Something About Us

Neither Good Nor Bad, Part One

August 2013

Enter: Ryan Gabriel Tramblay

    
     I was neither good nor bad.

     I had never been truly drunk or high (only a little bit of both and never at the same time), I had never smoked a cigarette, I had never stolen anything, I could never get away with lies, I never snuck out, I was still a virgin, I rarely handed in assignments late, I never plagiarized, I never cheated on tests no matter how desperate I was, I had never even honestly tried to grope a girl even when I was sure I could have gotten away with it.

     I wasn’t entirely good either because I had smoked weed, occasionally I drink, I lie to my parents, I skip class especially when I think they're unimportant, I've failed a class, I've tried to cheat on a test but got so scared I didn't even use my crib notes, and I've given my ex-boyfriend a hand job in the back of a tattoo parlour.

     I knew things in life were never black and white, there were always gray areas. It took me a long time to realize I was like that too.

*
     Even though I am seventeen, I have only ever dated three people. This can be seen as unfortunate or fortunate depending on who you are. TJ scoffs at me and calls me inexperienced because he's dated ten people. Voda Weiss my cousin considers me incredibly lucky probably because he's never had a girlfriend.

     Two are boys; Seven Evans and Holiday Boulstridge. The only girl I have ever dated happens to be my neighbour and that is Louise Burke. I can't think of one thing that they all have in common when it concerns personalities. I didn't bring them up to start talking about personalities anyhow. I brought them up to get this story told.
 
     Someone texted me one day when I was in the kitchen with my mother making knodel. They were little potato dumplings that were boiled and dipped in thick gravy-like sauce. Mother added shredded cheese with the potatoes and they tasted so damned good. TJ and I finished whole batches of knodel at a time and it infuriated her immensely.
 
     “Who’s texting you?” Mom said in a very typical mom-sentence of her. Mom is short – 5”4 – with a blonde bob that doesn’t grow. Every time she goes to the hairdresser, she cuts it shorter and shorter. She says long hair is for young girls and I’m sure one day she’s going to come home looking like Daisy Buchanan.

     “I don’t know,” I mumbled. My phone had finished buzzing and had gone silent in my pocket. I plucked one of the dumplings out of the water and ate it whole. Ah, so creamy and flavourful.

      “So you’re not going to check it?”

       I grunted my response and rinsed my hands beneath the faucet. I dried my hands on my jeans and Mom grunted at my terrible habit. I scooped my phone from my pocket and there was a text from Holiday. He had texted me an address, a time which was an hour away, followed by the words “Be there”. Idiot boy. Even after a year Holiday still acted so cocky. And who said I should going to listen to him? Who said I wanted him anymore?

      “Who is it?” Mom asked. The rolled the last bits of the dumplings and then dropped them into the water with a wet – PLUNK.

      “Holiday,” I replied. I reached for the knodel and Mom slapped my hand hard.

     This was yet another reason to add to the list of reasons why I couldn’t be a bad-boy; I was close with my mother. We could talk and laugh easily. My parents each had a favourite twin; TJ had been my father’s but I was always the favourite of my mother’s.

       “Hoo-boy. Not him again.” Mom began to work on the sauce then, adding ingredients to a small pot on another burner. “Thanks for the help, liebling. You can go on now; I want to make sure there are some knodel for everyone else.” She punctuated her sentence with a little laugh.