Homecoming (Complete)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Babs opened the door before Dinah had finished knocking and they stood staring awkwardly at one another before Babs finally said "hi". It was a quiet and shy greeting, weighted heavily with the sorrow of months and months of heartache.

"Hi," Dinah replied equally as quiet as they continued standing there—Dinah in the hall, Babs in the apartment. "C-can I come in?" Dinah finally asked.

"Oh! Yes. Sorry," Babs blushed bright red and nearly stumbled trying to get out of the way to let Dinah through the door.

"I'd forgotten how red you get when you blush," Dinah grinned. Babs blushed harder and Dinah laughed. "Sorry. That's probably inappropriate at this stage...," she said as she tried to stifle her giggles. "I'm a little unnerved, and more than just a little nervous."

"What can I do for you, Dinah?" Babs asked, trying hard to sound businesslike and hide the pounding of her heart that she was positive could be heard in her voice.

"I...," Dinah hesitated, and Babs saw a gamut of emotions travel across her face as Dinah struggled with what to say. Babs took a deep breath, and slowly held out her hand to Dinah. Dinah's face crumpled, and she started to sob as she ran into Babs's arms.

"Please tell me I don't look as terrible as you do!" Dinah laughed after several minutes, grinning up into Babs's tear streaked face and puffy eyes. Babs pulled her the rest of the way into the apartment and swung the door closed before responding.

"Hey!" Babs poked her. "Be nice. I can throw you back out the door, you know."

Dinah turned sober in a heartbeat. "Yes," she whispered, "I know. I deserve no less than that."

"Oh Dinah," Babs said quickly. "That's not what I meant."

"I know," Dinah grimaced. "But it's the truth, and you know it. I'm sorry Babs. I'm so sorry." Dinah reached up to tentatively touch Babs's face. "I can't say sorry enough."

"Dinah," Babs said as she leaned her face into Dinah's hand, "we all coped how we coped. None of us were one hundred percent right, and none of us were really wrong either. There's nothing to forgive." She took Dinah's hand and led her into the living room so they could sit down. "Now...are you going to tell me what happened? You said you were at Alex's....?" Dinah told Babs about her conversation with Alex and then described what happened when she asked about the island.

"Oh crap," Babs said.

"What?" Dinah asked. "Alex said you could explain what's going on."

"I can," Babs grimaced, "but it's mostly speculation that Alex can't completely confirm." She sighed. "It sounds like you asking about the island set her back a bit. It could be days before we track her down again. Before we can...re-connect her. Damn."

"I'm sorry...," Dinah started.

"No," Babs said quickly and took Dinah's hand. She felt her stomach flutter, and was momentarily distracted by the rush of emotions that she'd bottled up for the past six months. She blushed and continued in a hurry, "It's not your fault. You couldn't have known. Hell, I don't think there's any way to predict when Alex's world will spontaneously crumble." She shook her head sadly. "I'm not sure where to start."

"Maybe just tell me what you've guessed is going on and then we'll figure it out from there," Dinah said. "Why did she just...disappear? I don't know what else to call it. One minute I was talking to Alex and the next there was this...rage...and then Alex was gone. It was like her shell was there but everything 'Alex' disappeared."

"You remember how Alex's mind works? How when she was a kid she pulled inside and shut down everything—all her emotions and all her connection to the outside world?" Babs asked. Dinah nodded and Babs could see understanding starting to dawn in her eyes. "We think that's what she did on the island—shut down everything so she could focus on surviving. She mentioned that her time on island was a blur?" Dinah nodded. "We think that what's happened is that she pulled so far inside, that she lived on instinct, and so purely for the moment, that she can't 'see' what was happening on the island. I'm not sure that makes sense," she sighed in frustration. "I think she had lucid moments and non-lucid moments, and the two are at war with each other. I think that the 'other person' on the island that she talks about was her, but she can't remember those times."