i'm walking around the sanctuary and walk over to a woman at a table surrounded by a number of things. "you got any books?" i ask her.
she's quiet for a moment, but nods and bends over, bringing up a milk crate of books. i help her set them on the table and scan over their bindings. "okay, i'll take it," i tell her and look up at the woman.
"which?"
"the entire crate," i nod.
she seems surprised, and then furrows her eyebrows. "what's your number?" she asks.
"i don't... i don't... have one?"
"how is that?"
"because i don't belong here?" i smile, giving her a look.
"no books," she musters, trying to take the cart.
"who else here is reading?" i look around. "please."
"no books," she repeats.
"her number is one," i hear negan behind me and groan. "you're not gonna let the kid read? that is a no no. no one else here is smart enough."
"i-i'm... i'm, i'm sorry," she stutters quietly to me and i shake my head.
"you didn't kn-"
"her number is one," negan says louder, looking around. "hell, she could make her own decisions around the place if she wanted to. jade... take the books. come with me."
"i'm so sorry," i whisper and take the crate of books. i start following negan. "i could've done without the books. you didn't have to do that."
"if you want something you should do what you need to get it," he tells me.
"i want to go back to alexandria," i tell him and he chuckles.
"well, you're extraordinarily smart. i'm sure you're working on that already," he says. "but you won't."
"why not?"
"if you leave i'll kill daryl."
"no no," i stop walking. "you're not gonna do anything to daryl. matter of fact, you're gonna stop with your shit that you're doing to him."
"is that right?"
"punishment doesn't work," i tell him.
"explain."
"punishment doesn't change the tendency to engage in punished behavior," i tell him. "instead, actually it makes... makes the person want to avoid the source of punishment rather than repeat the punished behavior. you get that? so, no, no one is actually afraid of you. they just want to avoid you, but as soon as they think they're not being watched, the tendency to engage in the behavior will reassert itself. i mean, yeah... sure... i suppose you could arrange for a totalitarian state to ensure that the person is always feeling watched... and.... thereby inhibit the behavior permanently under an umbrella of anxiety, numbness, and hate, but even then... even then the tendency or desire to engage in the punished behavior will not change."
"wow."
"you can't be everywhere all the time. you're the big and strong alpha enemy now, sure, but you will not stand forever and when you just so happen to fall... i just... i just can't wait to see it."
YOU ARE READING
DEFIANT | Carl Grimes
Fanfiction"i didn't ever think it would be me?" "what?" "being the one that's gonna see everyone die."
