DEFIANT | Carl Grimes

5: he's still a kid

i stop in the doorway of carl's cell. "i would ask someone else but you're closest in size so can i borrow a shirt or something? i know we're supposed to be watching the pris—"

"no," he says.

"but my scars," i say quietly. "i don't want people to see them."

"i tried helping you," he says.

"jesus christ, why are you making this so difficult? i'm not asking for your hand in marriage. you know what? i'll just ask some—"

he throws one in my hands before walking past me, bumping into me. i take a deep breath to calm myself and follow him out to where the others are loading supplies into the cars. "carl," rick starts as he reaches for carl but gets ignored. carl hasn't been speaking much to rick since his mom died.

"he's a trip," i say and roll my eyes.

"i've never seen him this mad," glenn says, walking. "even with lori. he just shut down."

"he's still a kid," rick says, closing the hood of the car. "it's easy to forget."

glenn turns to me. "you should talk to him," he says and i shake my head.

"okay. one, he hates me and i can't stand him. two, the way he feels is not my problem," i shrug.

"but you know how it feels," glenn points out. i explained to him and rick the same things i told daryl once we came back.

"and i got through it so he can too," i say. "plus, i was nice to my mother and when she died, my dad lost it. i would've killed for a dad like rick when it all happened."

glenn walks over to maggie and i look at rick. "thanks," he says quickly.

"i know you told the governor i died from what happened to me so that you wouldn't have to trade me. so," i take a deep breath. "thank you."

i walk over to the fence and soak in the sun, looking up at the sky. it doesn't take much to distract me from the fact that the good days are over. "we don't have any time to waste. stop standing around like you're someone important," carl says, putting another bag in the trunk.

"i'll stop," i sigh, looking around and folding my arms. "when you stop being an ass."

"okay, jade you're gonna go with carl, hershel and beth," rick says and we both sigh in annoyance.

"why with him?" i ask.

he gives me a look and i sigh again. "you could always leave again," carl says. "but don't come back next time."

~

it's not too long after the governor and his people show up, attacking the prison. the four of us wait in the forest, watching everything. i lean back against the car and wait for it to be over. beth gets close to hershel and carl stands beside them. "how can you be so calm?" beth asks, looking back at me.

i shrug and continue to bite my nails carelessly. "i've seen worse," i tell her.

soon the prison alarms start to sound and people from woodbury start pouring out of the prison as our people join the attack. "i should be there," carl says.

"and i should be gone by now," i say out loud and he turns to face me. "what? you think i wanna be wasting my time here? i still can't believe you guys brought me back."

"you were gonna die," carl says.

"it seems that's gonna happen anyway," i examine my fingers.

"you know i'm really tired of you," carl shakes his head.