Gloom
I hiss at the feeling of being alone.
I freeze when you walk by.
My heart skips a beat.
The sun comes out shining down beneath
You. That ethereal being. Your glowing presence
But I know one thing deep in my heart.
You will never be mine.
I will never feel your touch upon mine.
To feel your gaze lingering at me.
To watch you smile wholeheartedly
Like the blossoming of time.
Your memory will fade.
With the blossoming of time, you will evaporate
Sinking deeper into an unknown oblivion.
Until you're nothing more than a bare memory.
Distant.
The glooming continues and my heart shatters.
Indescribable
I watch you glee
My heart melts
I see you there through my lens
I wish I could touch you
Hold you
Whisper comforting words into your ears
I love the way you try to make out my face
Dissolving some unknown secret
It is yours and yours alone
And I have no business to disturb it
What secrets does your heart contain
What manner of trust can you give
I know you smile whenever I'm near
I can feel your pulsating laughter
Your addictive smile
The way you brush your hair as you look into my eyes
I feel... safe, at home. Comfortable
I need to stop my wallowing or my heart will seize.
Elliptic Curves
You call me friend
I call you loved one
You say I matter
I am quick to judge.
To go a day without you
Is to waver in folly.
To be without you entirely
Would be death.
I am in love. No obsessed
Passionate. Destroyed and
Distraught. Mangled and bruised
I must have you.
Your shining star. Your elliptic
Curves. Your feminine being.
How you can illuminate the sky
Through my heart, I do not know
But every time I look at you
All the gloom evaporates.
And the wallowing of my heart arises
The things I would do with you
Share with you. Explain to you.
Holding your hand in mine.
But I am depressed and opaque.
Hollow like tree trunks overdue.
The death of my love is the death
Of your being.
The death of my desire. Is the death
Of my pain.
To want is to suffer. To give is to
Be free.
YOU ARE READING
A collection of Poetry Vol. 1
شِعرThis is the first in an addition of poetry shorts, this ones about mental illness and the struggles of schizophrenia, and the horrors it can produce.
