Harry's POV
I followed the boys into the kitchen. My mum had chicken, rice, and vegetables on the counter for everyone to serve themselves. I looked at Louis, who was right in front of me, and noticed he had two plates. After looking at all the other boys and my mum, who only had one plate, I just had to ask Louis what was up.
"Lou?" I asked.
"Yeah Haz?" He asked, piling vegetables on both plates.
"Why do you have two plates?"
"One of them is for you," he said, as though it was obvious.
"I'm capable of getting my own food," I sighed.
"I know," he said, "but you have to have a certain amount of each food and I know you wouldn't put that much food on your plate."
I looked at 'my' plate and noticed all the food on it.
"Damn right I wouldn't," I muttered.
Louis handed me my plate and I followed him back into the living room. I sat on the couch with Louis, Zayn, and Niall. My mum and Liam were sitting in the two chairs on the sides of the couch. Everyone was eating their food and I stared at mine. Was I ready for this? Surely I couldn't be expected to eat ALL this food!? Could I?
"Dig in Harry," Liam smiled.
"Yeah," Niall agrees, "this is great, Anne."
"Thank you Niall," mum smiled, "Harry please eat something. I don't want to have to take you back to the hospital."
"Y-yes mum," I mumbled.
I picked my fork up and stabbed a piece of zucchini. Bringing the fork to my lips I paused. Vegetables were supposed to be safe foods, meaning I wasn't supposed to feel this worried about eating them. But, now, nothing was a safe food. Every food was dangerous, no matter how little calories. I took a deep breath and shoved the zucchini in my mouth. I chewed slowly and then swallowed. I continued the process until all of my vegetables were gone. I felt sick and I didn't know how I was going to finish the rest of the food. Looking around I noticed everyone else's plates were empty. How long had I taken to eat those veggies?
"Good job Haz," Louis smiled, "keep going."
"I feel sick Lou," I groaned.
"I know it must be hard Harry, but you have to eat," Zayn said.
"But I-"
"Harry you have to eat," Liam sighed, "please don't fight."
I picked my fork up, again, and stuck it into a piece of chicken. I brought the fork to my mouth and, after watching Liam rush off to answer his phone, I placed it in my mouth. It was chewy and bland. I kept going until my food was gone. I felt mixed feelings looking at my empty plate. I felt proud that I'd eaten a balanced meal, but I also felt disgusting and heavy.
"Good work Harry!" My mum beamed, taking our plates.
I smiled at the proud looks on my friends faces. I adjusted on the couch, trying to get comfortable. My stomach was aching, since it had shrunk from lack of food, and suddenly I could feel my food crawling back up my throat. I got up and bolted to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before the contents of my stomach were released. I could feel a cool wash cloth on the back of my neck and I saw Louis' frowning face. He began rubbing circles on my back and I threw up the rest of my dinner. Eventually I could see blood coming up and I finally felt my stomach calm down. I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet. Turning to Louis I gave him a shaky smile.
"I-I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"Harry it isn't your fault. You ate all your dinner and that's what we asked for. It isn't your fault you threw up. If you had purged I would have been furious, but you didn't so it's okay. We'll just have to give you lighter meals that won't upset your stomach as much," Louis said.
"When did you get so wise?" I laughed.
"When I realized that I had to do something to help you recover from your eating disorder," he frowned.
"I-I love you Lou," I choked, tears welling up in my eyes.
"I love you too," Louis smiled, kissing my sweaty forehead.
I got up shakily, with Louis' help, and sat down on the counter to keep from passing out. Why I am always so dizzy? Gee, maybe because you haven't been eating and you just puked your fucking guts out! Oh, right. I looked at Louis with a frown on my face. He took the washcloth from my neck and began wiping the sweat off of my forehead.
"T-thanks," I stuttered.
"Of course love," Louis grinned, "how are you feeling?"
"S-shaky, weak, and s-sick," I groaned.
"I can tell," he said, "you look awful. Come on let's get you into bed. You've already got sweats on so you can just sleep in these clothes."
"O-okay," I said.
He helped me off the bathroom counter and slowly made our way to my bedroom. I climbed into my bed and Louis propped pillows behind me so I was sitting up. He started to walk away, but I grabbed his hand.
"S-stay please," I pleaded.
"Alright," Louis smiled, climbing into bed next to me.
I cuddled close to him and placed my head on his shoulder. Louis put his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. I snuggled close and smiled. Lately I'd been trying to stay away from people touching me, but with Louis I just felt so safe. Like nothing could ever hurt me. It was nice. I was just about to close my eyes when Liam walked in. He didn't look very happy.
"I just got off the phone with Paul," he said, "we have an interview tomorrow at 10."
"Okay," Louis said.
"Now," Liam said, anger in his voice, "did he purge? Don't lie. It's obvious he's thrown up."
"Yes he did throw up," Louis sighed, "but no, he didn't purge. The food came out on it's own will."
"But why?" Liam asked, no longer angry but worried.
"I think we forced to much food into his shrunken stomach," Louis explained, "We should probably try to keep his food lighter and have him eat small amounts more frequently."
"When did you become the smart one?" Liam laughed.
"That's what I asked him," I said, "yes! I'm not stuttering."
"No you aren't love," Louis smiled, "but you still sound, and look, weak. Why don't you have an early night in and try to get some sleep?"
"Sounds wonderful," I said.
Louis smiled and slowly climbed out of bed. I wanted him to stay, but I didn't fight him. I was too tired. I managed to watch Louis and Liam exit the room and close the door before my eyes closed and I was fast asleep.
I looked at the clock and groaned.
3:12
I thought about going back to sleep, but I soon realized I was wide awake. Hmm, what to do? I was about to go back and try to sleep anyway when that voice started in my head. Ana's voice.
Go to the gym.
But Ana it's only three a.m.
So? It's a twenty four hour gym. Plus Elaina won't be there to bother you.
But I want to get better.
Do you really? You do know that your body absorbed some of the calories you ate tonight. You think you puked all of them up, but at least 1/3 of them were absorbed into your body and made into fat. Is that what you want Harry? To be a fat, worthless, pathetic blob? You don't really think that Louis cares do you? He's just saying that because he wants to be better than you. He know that if you keep losing weight you'll be better than him soon. He doesn't really love you. Now, are you ready to go work out?
Yes Ana
Don't you feel stupid for considering recovery?
Yes Ana. I'll never do that again.
Good. Now hurry up and get changed fat arse!
I rolled out of bed and got up slowly. I changed into another pair of sweats, 2 different shirts, and a jumper. I grabbed my phone, headphones, and keys and then walked out the door and headed to the gym.
