all I ever wanted (Harry Styles luv story)

ch2 the call

"I'm sorry Mrs. Styles. I wish there was something we could do. But please, consider adoption. It's a great option." My doctor shook mine and Harry's hands and left the room. I sat there, cold and motionless. Harry stood from his seat and wrapped himself around me."It's okay, baby." He whispered. Tears streamed down my face after receiving the terrible news that I would never give birth. My heart was broken. I could never give Harry any babies of his own. I began to sob as Harry held onto me. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling like I'd disappointed him in so many ways."Momma, look at daddy!" A sweet little voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to see Harry wearing a clown nose. He made a goofy face and our little Devon burst into giggles. I laughed and scooped up Devon, snuggling him close. He kissed me on the cheek and I set him down so he could run to his daddy. Harry tickled him and Devon squealed with delight. I leaned back on the couch and watched my boys play, thinking of how far we'd come since that dreadful day in the hospital.Four years ago, Harry and I went through tons of testing, only to find that I had a disease that prevented me from having children. I went through dark days, devastated that I couldn't give Harry what he wanted most - a house full of kids. We'd tried adoption a few times, but it never worked out. Then, three years ago, a miracle happened: I found out I was pregnant with a little boy. The doctor couldn't understand how my body had managed to conceive and told me that I'd probably miscarry. But nine months later, Harry and I welcomed our little curly headed, green eyed, baby boy. He looked just like Harry, except he had my blonde hair. We called him Devon Edward and he was our world.I still wanted to give Harry a little girl, but the doctor said conceiving the first time was a miracle, and that doing it again was pretty much impossible. It hurt a little, especially when I saw Harry playing with Alana, or El and Louis' little Sophie. He never said anything, but I knew he desperately longed for a little girl to call his own. Don't get me wrong, Devon was our little miracle baby and we were so thankful for him, but we still wanted more kids."Can you come record tomorrow, baby?" Harry looked up from playing with Devon."Hmm, I think so. It'll be Kirsten's first time alone with Devon, but I think she'll do fine." I smiled."I'm sure she will!" Harry agreed as he turned his attention back to the needy toddler in front of him.Kirsten was our au pair from the USA. She was staying for the summer and had only been here for a week. She was quite shy, but super sweet. She loved Devon and had been a fan of Harry and I both, so needless to say we already loved her.Since One Direction's retirement a few years ago, Harry and Louis started a record label together. They were constantly busy and stressed, but extremely happy with their business. El and I were proud of them and she and I would often have sleepovers when the boys were off on business. Our friendship had grown and we were practically sisters.I hadn't returned to the music industry since my break five years ago. Harry and I were recording a duet album that would be my debut back onto the scene. I was beyond excited, but the album was coming along slowly since he'd been so busy with work, and I with Devon. That was part of the reason we'd hired Kirsten - for extra help to take the load off of us."Mrs. Styles, the laundry's finished and so are the dishes. Is there anything else you need tonight?" Kirsten appeared in the doorway."Thank you, Kirsten! I think that's it. You can have the rest of the night off!" I smiled at her and she turned to go. "Oh, wait!" She turned abruptly, looking terrified. "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times! No more of that Mrs. Styles crap! Call me Leah, please!" I giggled.She looked relieved and laughed quietly. "Okay... Leah. Thank you!" She left and Harry grinned at me."She's quite funny." He smirked. "She's so shy. I hope she comes out of that shell.""She will! It's her first time as an au pair and it's only her first week! Plus, we're not exactly random Joe's off of the street." I laughed. "Give the girl time!"We played with Devon and talked about our day for another hour before deciding to call it a night. Together, we read Devon a bedtime story and then Harry sang him to sleep. It was my favorite part of the day. I loved snuggling with my boys and hearing Harry's sultry, smooth voice in the quiet of the night.As soon as Devon was sound asleep, Harry and I snuck out of his room and climbed into our own bed. "Goodnight, Mrs. Styles!" Harry snickered."Goodnight Mr. Styles!" I sang back."Hey!" Harry protested."What?""I was hoping you'd scold me for calling you that. And maybe even punish me." It was dark so I couldn't see him, but I knew he was wagging his eyebrows at me.I laughed and rolled over to kiss him. After all of this time, our love was still as strong as ever and we still acted like love struck kids. I smiled through the kisses and the rest of our time that night, completely happy with where our life was going, even if it wasn't exactly how I'd planned it.++I wanna melt in I wanna soak throughI only wanna move when you moveI wanna breathe out when youbreathe in then I wanna fade into youHarry made eye contact with me while he sang his part. The words were beautiful and ran so deep. I closed my eyes and picked up on my verse.If I was just ashes and you were the groundAnd under your willow they laid me downThere’ll be no trace that one was once twoAfter I fade into youI opened my eyes to see my handsome Harry grinning. We both began the chorus together.In your heart, in your head,in your arms, in your bed under your skin,Til there’s no way to know whereyou end and where I beginWe finished the rest of the song and Harry switched off the sound board."You sounded amazing! I'm so glad you're finally getting back into it. The industry needs you, Le." He grinned."You're not too bad yourself, babes." I winked at him, giggling. He reached for my hand and pulled me into his chest."I feel like I've been way too busy. I've missed you Leah." He moved into kiss me. I'd missed him too. So much. I breathed him in, and enjoyed every second, but his phone rang, interrupting our moment."Ah, I need to take this." He groaned, peeling himself off of me. I sighed and watched him step out of the room.I played around with the sound board and listened to what we'd just recorded. We sounded really good, and Harry hadn't even edited it yet. I was really proud. It felt good to be singing again. Life was good and I thought about how happy I was. I had a beautiful baby boy and the most handsome, caring husband. My life couldn't be any more perfect. I smiled as I played through the song once more, taking in the way our voices meshed together.Harry came back into the room and I thought I saw worry laced into his expression. "Is everything okay?" I asked, rising from my seat by the sound board."Everything's fine." His expression quickly changed as he sat down and began to listen to our cut."Don't you want to finish what you started?" I bit my lip, needing him more with each passing moment."I am. You want the song to be done soon, and I'm trying baby." He knit his brow, focusing on the song, obviously having completely forgotten about our heated connection just minutes ago.I rolled my eyes and slipped out of the room. His mood had completely changed after that phone call - probably some business bullshit. He obviously didn't want to talk about it so I decided to ignore him and call Kirsten to check on Devon."Hey Kirsten!" I greeted her as she picked up the phone."Hi Mrs - Leah!" I grinned at her correction."How's Devon? And you? Everything okay?" I leaned against the wall."Everything's great! He's the perfect baby! He's had lunch and I've just put him down for a nap. Laundry is going and I'm looking up recipes for dinner as we speak!" She sounded proud of her work, as she should be."Thank you so much, Kirsten! I don't know how we ever made it without you." I smiled, realizing how helpful a sixteen year old could be."No, thank you, Leah! This is an amazing opportunity!" We made small talk before hanging up. I made my way back into the studio and thankfully, Harry had pepped up a little."Wanna start on the next song, baby girl?" His face lit up when he saw me."Sure." I took my seat and pulled on the headset to begin the next song. Harry took the seat across from me, but then abruptly stood to kiss my cheek."I love you, Leah." He whispered."Love you." I smiled, hoping this meant his little hissy fit from earlier was long gone.++"Has Louis been stressed out more than usual here lately?" I asked Eleanor as we sat in the park. It'd been one week since Harry and I recorded together and he'd been acting strange ever since."Not too much. Why?" We watched as Sophie pushed Devon in the baby swing, both of them laughing."Harry's just been even more stressed this past week. I feel like it's me and the album that are causing the problem. I don't know. He's just been acting weird. Like no sex the past week, he's barely home, and he barely calls. He's never acted like this." I vented to her, feeling better and better as each word left my mouth."They have had a lot of things going on with the business. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. He'll come around. The only thing that worries me is the sex, because he's Harry for God's sake!" She laughed and I nodded."That's exactly why I'm worried." I half joked. It wasn't funny that we were having a bad week, but I didn't know what else to do but to try and lighten the situation."Just try talking to him." El pushed her sunglasses up onto her nose."I have, but I'll try again tonight." I sighed, turning my attention to our kids, who were walking over to us."Aunt LeLe, Dev needs his diaper changed." Sophie put her hand on her hip and waved her hand in from of her nose. "He's a bit stinky."I held back the giggle. She was as sassy as Louis and as cute as Eleanor. "Yes ma'am! I'll change him right now!" I scooped Devon up."Good! No one want's to smell that! Oh, whew! Good luck!" She walked over to her mom and asked for some hand sanitizer. El made eye contact with me and then burst into laughter. We all knew that Sophie was going to be a handful because she acted just like Louis. No one ever knew what Sophie was going to say or just how sassy she was going to be.++"Hey baby!" I greeted Harry as he came through the front door. "How was your day?""Stressful. Long." He brushed past Devon and I, heading straight for a shower. I'd had enough of his sketchy behavior so I handed Devon to Kirsten and went after Harry.He was already in the shower by the time I made it upstairs."We need to talk." I spoke."About what?" He asked, flatly."Why are you acting so weird lately?" I leaned against the counter."I'm not, it's just work is stressful." Whatever was bothering him, he did not want to talk to me about it."Well don't take it out on your son. When you didn't even acknowledge him just then, his little face fell. Take it out on me all you want, but don't you dare neglect Devon." I was mad.He used his hand to wipe the fog away on the glass door of the shower so that I could see his face, and softened expression. "I'm sorry, Leah. I didn't mean to hurt either of you. I'm just really overwhelmed right now." I thought he would finally open up to me."You know you can tell me anything. This past week it's like you've been shutting me out." I released my folded arms.His face hardened again. "I know. But it's just work." The glass fogged again and I could no longer see his face. I left the bathroom, still mad. We'd solved nothing. He didn't want to talk to me and it made me sick to my stomach. If he couldn't talk to me - his wife - about it, who could he talk to?I put Devon to sleep alone and avoided his questions about his daddy. Once Devon was asleep, I made my way to our bedroom to find Harry fast asleep. I climbed in next to him. He had his back to me so I did the same and faced away from him. I pulled the covers up to my chin, but it didn't help the cold, empty pit I felt forming in my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep, praying that whatever had Harry so distraught would go away and let us be happy again.