Numb: The Genesis

V. Alone

I took a seat on the worn wooden bench. I ran my fingers through my now dull copper hair as I rested my forehead on my dry, calloused palms. I squeezed my eyelids tight, not wanting to open them again.

"Hans, you've heard?" Mamma's broken voice was hushed. I nodded yes and she held me tightly in her arms in a calming embrace. She whispered in my ear as she stroked the fringe away from my forehead, exposing the wound, "Oh, darling," she dabbed my bloodied skin on her apron, "You have to be strong for me. You have to fight this battle on your own— to fight the hardships in your life and to bear the wounds. And please, please obey the king and queen. Yes, they seem harsh, but remember, it's all for your own good, I promise you."

I was sobbing miserably, and she couldn't hold back her tears as well. She let go of me and looked me straight in the eye, "Cinderella stayed pious and good even though she lost her mother and was mistreated by her stepsisters. You're not that much different, my little Hans. Please, no matter what happens, no matter how hurt you are, don't ever give in to evil. It's weak. The strongest are those who remain good. That's why heroes are given such praise and villains are looked down upon, because they are weak for giving into evil so easily...

"I won't be there to watch you grow," her lips quivered. She tried so earnestly hard to continue, "...to watch you grow to be the hero you've always been." With that, she squeezed me in her arms and kissed my forehead for the last time, "I love you with all my heart, Hans."

My sore eyes looked up at her. I was hurt, but I smiled for her because I knew it was a strong thing to do, "I love you with all mine, Mamma." I hurried to hug her skirt, not intending to let her leave. I begged her to stay even though I knew she had to go. The time constraint led her to tug at my hands, signalling it was time for her departure. Mamma sang with her shaky, hushed voice to calm me. Her voice was riddled with her gasps of air, but it still sounded like the voice that would comfort me when I was hurt.

Let me go, let me go

It's time for me, for me to be gone

Let me go, let me go

Don't cling on me, little Hans

I know that

You want me to stay

Forgive and forget

Me for having to go so far away

And so I let go. I just had to forgive and forget her. It was the king's orders, and I was told it was for my own good.

She walked away quietly, looking back at me with her swollen emerald eyes. Her auburn hair was wetted by her tears, and so it was stuck to her damp cheeks. Her distraught appearance did nothing to scar her beauty. She pressed her lips to her fingers and blew a subtle kiss to me, and I caught the kiss, holding it securely in a fist even though there was absolutely nothing enclosed in my hand. Her teethy grin made me feel safe again, unharmed. It was when she slowly closed the bedroom door I felt bitter melancholy loom over me.

I knew now for sure that I was going to fight this battle. Alone.