Before October's Gone

Chapter 9

(Lauren)
Dear Journal
I'm gonna be honest I miss her, a lot, I feel like she wouldn't want us to be sad, especially after a month and a half, but I am, I'm sad, really sad, I can't do anything, Christina wants to do a video for our fans, but Amy's not in the spirit and honestly neither am I, the Cimorelli house has just been toxic, yelling, and pushing people away, Dani would hate this, my head stays in the clouds these days. Mom thinks depression, dad thinks I've been through so much I just don't know what to do, honestly, it's probably both, between losing my little sister and still going to school and filming videos, I haven't had time to breathe, to comprehend that she's gone. I don't think any of us have, we're all trying me be strong, especially Katherine but no one ever warns you of what suicide does to a family. It isn't just a sibling, a daughter who dies, but it feels like everyone does. I promised to be brave but it's so so hard.

(A/N it's been so long since I've even logged on to this. I'd like to apologize for not updating. I forgot the password but i found it and I'll try to go back to regular once again I'm so sorry)