Why do I trust you? (Zion Kuwonu)

"No i really cant do this!!"

Flashback

Quick summary of what happened between me being three months pregnant and Maliki being three months old

5 months pregnant
"Oh look how big you've gotten"

"Wow thanks mum you make me feel like a whale"

"At least you got the glowing skin too i got you a present"

"Yay I should come here more often"

"Well open it"

"What in the world" i look at the box

"You put these on and then you can hear babies heart beat at home"

"Aw thanks mummy"

"Thats ok sweetie what you thinking about for room ideas?"

"I want it like a really really light blue like so its nearly white but still blue"

"I get it i think its this one" she shows me a mineral dusk colour and that it

"Yeah "

7 months pregnant

I'm restless now

I'm never comfortable

Zion will not talk to me

The baby started to kick like a month ago the whole room is set up

I decided to spend today making a new Instagram account so i can stalk Zion

I wanna see if he has a new bitch

Why the fuck do i care i have food to be eating

I've taken a picture with the same clothes on every month

I've got to go gym

All i do id lay about the house all day so I started just walking on the treadmill for like 20 minutes with ten minute breaks doing that two times and three times a week

9 months pregnant

I've literally turn into Tasha

I
Hate
Hospitals

So I'm trying to hold off going even though I'm in active labour

Tasha's at work

My mum and my dad were both at work

God if only Zion was here

I can do this

I call 999 and then my mum not that she answers

~
I get to the hospital

And no ones answered me

I know my brother will answer but I don't know

I call Tasha
"Babes" she says bubbly as ever

"So I'm in labour"

"What where you at?"

"St Annes"

"Call my mum" i hang up calling my brother

"Ok alright I'm coming" he says back to me calmly as ever after i just screamed in pain over the phone

Ok alright

Someone's coming at least

"I don't think you can wait savannah"

"I can " I scream after a contraction

"Babies in distress miss Loo" a different doctor comes in

"Fuck ok" I remember I'm going to have to lay here going through these contractions longer if I don't just push now

"Right on your next contraction push ok"

I quickly nod before holding my thighs digging my chin into my chest and pushing

"Ok thats good Savannah one more I want you to really push"

"No I really can't do this!"

"You can here it comes"

All I remember is me pushing like my life depended on it

"Savannah you did it your done" my midwife pats my forehead

"Is it ok?" I ask as they rush off without even telling me the gender

"He's fine" the nurse hands me my baby boy

"Oh my god" i look at him and cry "hi baby" i kiss him
The door burst open

"We missed it" my mum and Tasha run in

"Oh sweetie he's beautiful" my mum walk over

"Tasha" i call as my mum takes baby

"Yeah"

"Is your vagina meant to feel like its on fire?"

She laughs at me
"I thought you has something normal to ask and yes"

"I'm so tired"

"Go sleep I'm not leaving"

I send a picture of just baby to Zion

Why do I even still try

-
One month after birth

"I've got to go home sometime mum"

"So soon"

"I don't want to get used to you helping me I've got to learn plus you have them two who are becoming parrots so I really can't be here i swear too much"

I say with Malakai in the car

"Thank the lord i can finally sleep" Zane walks by

"Fuck you" I laugh leaving

-
My apartment

Walking in "this is your home baby"

____________________
Bruh
So I can't spell
I have like 3 different ways i spell
Maliki
Malakai
Malachi

They all the same baby