Hold On Ringo

Chapter 5

Chapter 5
14 February 1965

Dear diary.
Today I don’t feel really bad to be honest. I’ve slept well. But one of those dreams I had last night wasn’t that nice… I dreamed about George who glared at me.

Now while I’m writing I’m thinking. Does the boys want me out of the band? I mean I’ve been the last one who got in.. Do they want me out of the friendship? If it is a friendship… because they’re doing just so rude to me..

I stop writing and put my diary away. Mostly writing helps to feel better but now it just makes everything much worse. I sigh and stand up to get dressed. I think I’ve got to explain George everything about what’s going on in my life right now and ask him why the boys are just doing like this to me.

Minutes later I’m going downstairs and see my mother is busy making breakfast. I don’t feel hungry and walk out without eating.

About 15 minutes later I knock on George’s door. He opens and looks at me like ‘what the hell are you doing here’ I sigh. “George..” I start but he closes the door in front of me. I start to feel depressed. I can’t believe George is doing like this to me. He’s the friendliest of all.. why would he do like this to me. And if I can’t tell him anything then I won’t be able to tell Paul or John… I sigh and walk away. Just giving up about everything and I walk back home to write my experience with George in my diary.

When I’m home I walk upstairs. I’m not even looking to where mum is. I walk into my room and see she reads my diary. I look really angry at her. “MUM!” I yell back.

Mum lays my diary down. “Sorry Richard. I just had to read. I was curious about what is going on in your head these days.”

“MUM YOU JUST CAN’T DO THAT. – YOU DIDN’T EVEN ASK IF YOU COULD!” I yell really angrily making a fist in both of my hands.

“I’m sorry.” Mum says guilty.

“YOU COULD THINK OF THAT BEFORE YOU – ” I yell but stop. I grab my diary and walk away. “Bye mum.” I say silently but angry, I turn away.

Mum sighs guilty but she doesn’t try to keep me here.

I walk downstairs and though the door. I’m going to the bridge. Under the bridge there’s just peace so I can write and I won’t be scared that someone would read. Nobody will read because I will be alone.

Minutes later I’m under the bridge, I sit down with my back against the wall and my feet pointed to the river. I open my diary and write..

The day went from good to worse. Mum read you… she read everything. But that’s not even the worse! The worst thing was George… I went to him and when. I wanted explain what was going on these days with me.. but when he opened the door he closed it in front of me…

I don’t think I will be able to tell someone else! George always want to listen to me.. We’re close together. I don’t understand what’s going on… why everything is being so wrong. Why the boys treat me so badly…

I start crying. My tears run down my face. Everything has no point to me anymore… Just nothing has a point.

It starts to rain and to thunder. A storm comes up and I’m still under the bridge.

I’m crying my heart out. My clothes get wet of the tears. After minutes I’m trying to calm myself down. And I succeed lately.

I look to my left side and see it’s raining heavily.. I lay down and sob my last tears away.