Liar, Liar

Chapter 22 - Best Friends Forever

I can see from where I am standing that Ashley is clenching her jaw and holding the wheel way too tight for comfort. My reaction is to pull away from Adam as quickly as I can, but what is the use? She's already seen enough to draw conclusions.

    Adam has realized the same thing and takes a few steps toward her car, calling her name. Ashley has other plans than talking, however, and pulls out from where she is parked. She is out of our sight within seconds and we're left staring after the sound of her car.

    "Shit," Adam cusses, folding his hands behind his head and pacing around in a circle. Myself, I am just as distressed. I can't believe that after all this time, Ashley finds out exactly at the end. This was supposed to be our doorway to a simpler life, but what just happened changes everything.

    I run inside the apartment building and fish out my phone, dialing Ashley's number. It rings twice before it goes to voicemail, an obvious sign that she hung up on me. Adam comes in after me, fingers tangled into his wet hair.

    "Where's your car?" I demand breathlessly. Adam doesn't even hesitate with running outside again and pulling out his car keys from his pocket. He starts the car and pulls out of the spot he had parked in. The car ride is silent, both of us just lost in our minds. I feel nauseous. This was not supposed to happen. Even though how bad it sounds, Ashley was never supposed to find out. It was for the better, because she is so in love with Adam and deserves to be happy.

    I can't lose my friendship with her, I just can't. I'm still in love with Adam, too, but I can't lose the one person who has always been there for me. I want to slap myself. Why has it taken me so long to figure this out? Ashley was there for me – always. When other kids picked on me, when I couldn't afford my movie ticket, when the bus didn't come. She was like a sister and I've treated her like dirt. Forget all my excuses, because they're all useless. I've done something horrible, and I don't know how to fix it.

    The car ride seems to endure for forever. I'm bouncing my leg up and down in nervousness, running my hands over my face every few seconds. When we finally do pull up at Ashley's apartment complex, both Adam and I are out of the car before the motor fully shuts off. My heart is pounding so hard that it hurts in my chest. At one point I think it might burst out.

    In the elevator, I push the button for the top floor and Adam scans his key card. I can't press the button to close the door enough times before the doors finally close, and then we're on our way. The ride is less than a minute, but every second is like a year and I wish I would have taken the stairs so that I could try and burn out some of the jitters inside me.

    The elevator pings and the doors open. The apartment feels eerie – cold and unwelcoming – but that might just be my take on it. Ashley's slightly damp coat is slung over the back of the couch so I know she is here, but it certainly seems like a ghost town.

    "Ashley?" Adam calls out, looking around. I call her name too. It's when she appears from the kitchen that I realize that I have no idea what to say to her.

    "Ash..." I murmur, but I don't dare take a step toward her. I've never seen her looking so miserable. Ashley is one of the strongest people I know and she looks fallen. Her eyes are droopy, her aura defeated, her soul betrayed. Adam and I did that, and it makes me sick.

    In one smooth movement, she pulls off her engagement ring and throws it as hard as she can towards us. I flinch and cover my face with my arms. I feel it hit my upper thigh and bounce off, and with a small clatter, the ring hits the floor. It brings up so many memories – everything from when Adam first walked into the jewelry store to when Ashley called me barely four days to tell me that she got engaged. To think that that small thing set off this whole ordeal.

    "We are over, Adam," Ashley declares, breathing heavily as to try to keep her tears at bay. Adam, completely in panic, ignores the ring and approaches her desperately.

    "No, no, no. Please don't say that!" he begs, grabbing both of her hands in his. She rejects him by ripping her hands out of his.

    "I can't believe you!" Ashley shrieks and then looks at me. "Not you, either. I sensed something was off, but this?" A tear slips down her cheek and she hastily wipes it away. She hesitates for a second before she asks, "How long?"

    Adam and I look at each other. I take a deep breath. "It ended a month ago-"

    "How long?" Ashley repeats, more sternly this time. "Because it didn't look like it ended to me."

    Adam cuts in now, "We we're resolving things. That was a goodbye!"

    Ashley is losing her patience at this point and she steps forward to push Adam backwards. "How fucking long?!"

    I jump forward to keep her from pushing Adam any more and blurt out, "One month, Ashley. It lasted for one month."

    She backtracks and gives me the most hurt expression I have ever seen. Before anything else happens, she suddenly turns away and runs to one of her potted plants and pukes her guts out before collapsing to the ground and surrendering to her tears.

    I hadn't realized before now, but I have never seen Ashley cry. Throughout the ten years I have known her, she has never cried in front of me, even though I have broken down countless of times in front of her. The fact that Ashley looks like a small, vulnerable girl instead of the strong woman I've always known her to be, makes me see how much I've fucked everything up.

    Adam crouches down and envelopes her frail body, but with feeble strength, she manages to push him off.

    "Get out," she says and stares us in eye while pointing to the door. "Get out right now or I swear to God, I'll call the security."

    "Ashley, please," I murmur, but she only shakes her head firmly.   

    "Out."

    And I know that I won't be coming back if I leave now.

    "Ash, babe, please listen to us," Adam pleads, holding his hands in a praying position. "I love you. I can't lose you. Please! I'm so sorry! It was a mistake!"

    It feels like being submerged in ice cold water when I hear him say it. A mistake. Not even fifteen minutes ago, he told me he loved me. It certainly didn't feel like a mistake when we were making it, but in the grand scheme of things, yes, it was one. Doesn't make it hurt less when he says it though.

    In a split second, Ashley resurrects and jumps up. "You know, I wondered why you guys started acting all weird around each other, but never in a million years would I have thought that you were sleeping together. I just couldn't imagine you guys sinking so low." She takes a step towards me. "And what about Dean? Does he know?" I look to the floor ashamedly, and that is enough answer for her. "Of course not," she scoffs and gestures to both of us. "You two deserve each other."

    Ashley points to the door again, not even looking us in the eye. I have nothing more to say at this point, at least nothing that will make her forgive me. I can't give her anything now but time, and pray to a God that I don't believe in that she will somehow find it in her heart to forgive me.

    "I'm sorry," I say and walk over to the elevator. Adam looks as confused as ever when I push the button, but I only sigh and enter the elevator. He doesn't follow me and I figure he isn't done trying to win over Ashley. I'm not giving up, but I can't change her mind any more now that an ant can carry a brick.

    Either she will forgive me with time or I have just lost my best friend.

    Forever.