(Old Version) Hopelessly Heroic

five

The moment we've all been waiting for...

_______

"You watch the news once and suddenly you're broken."

I groaned, rolling my eyes at Ava. "I'm not broken. I'm just distracted."

I heard her sigh, and then she was walking toward me and pulling the dough away from me. "I can tell. You've been staring at this for like, five minutes. It's not going to knead itself, you know."

She was right. It had been a few days since I allowed myself to listen to strangers talk about Willow on the news, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Although I hadn't seen her in three years, I felt jealous that she might be dating someone else. Were they a Super?

It felt wrong to be so hurt by it, since clearly I had no claim on Willow. She could do what she wanted. I didn't own her. She was a free woman and she could date whoever she wanted.

But it still hurt. It was still something I wished my brain would stop thinking about. It felt silly to still be pining after some girl who kissed me twice and then left. Had she kissed anyone since? Did she still stand by her weird I don't do kissing thing? Was it wrong that I hoped she did?

I tried to convince my brain to get over her. That it had been a short-lived fling and, though it was fun while it lasted, it was over now. I had to move on. But deep down I knew I couldn't do that. I knew that she was more than just some girl who kissed me twice and left. She was Willow. And she trusted me, and I let her down. And if she never wanted to see me again, it was fair. And it was my fault. And I couldn't hold that against her. But I wished that wasn't the case.

"Seriously, are you okay?"

The sound of Ava's voice made me jump, and I blinked in surprise when I looked at her. I had almost forgotten that she was there, or that I was here.

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry. I can knead that." I assured her, reaching to take back the dough.

She kept her hands on it, squinting at me curiously.

"No. You're on cash." She said decisively.

"I'm scheduled for the baking shift."

"I know," She said, levelling me with a sure gaze, "I'm changing it."

I opened my mouth to protest, but knew it was no use. It probably wasn't a good idea to argue with the manager of your first real job. I pulled my apron off and washed my hands, keeping silent as I made my way out to the store. It was still early, so there were no customers, but I doubted I'd be focused enough to serve them all without getting any orders wrong. I didn't know what Ava was thinking putting me on cash.

*

The morning rush went smoother than expected. The steady flow of customers actually helped distract me from my own thoughts, and I was able to serve everyone with only one person yelling at me for giving them the wrong thing. Overall, it was a good morning.

Ava came out from the kitchen to watch cash while I took my break, and I moved to the one table we had in the store. Sometimes I'd go across the street to get some lunch or a coffee, but I didn't feel up to it at that moment. I could feel Ava watching me the entire time I was sitting there, and I made it a point not to look back.

When there was one minute left of my break, the bell chimed. I didn't look.

"Hey!" Ava greeted enthusiastically, "I remember you. Romeo and Juliet, right?"

A small laugh. My heart spiked.

"Yeah! I, uh, just came to give this to you. I don't know if you have any room, but I thought I'd try anyway."

I stood up, shocked. There, in front of me, talking to my manager, was Willow.

She was turned away, so I couldn't see her face, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was her. Her hair was shorter, and maybe a little lighter, but it was still her hair. It was her voice. It was her everything. It was her.

"Willow," I said, and I barely heard myself, but she immediately froze.

She didn't turn around for a long time. The three of us stood in complete silence. I felt near tears. Ava looked so lost.

When she did turn around, I was surprised by a lot of things.

It didn't feel like I thought it would. In every previous fantasy I had about seeing her again, there was never this tense silence hanging between us. In my head, everything always worked out perfectly. The only way I could tell she wasn't a hallucination in front of me was the fact that she wasn't running into my arms. If my sick mind had created this moment, she would have kissed me by now. Maybe my flaw was being too hopeful. Maybe she had the same problem. Maybe, not for the first time, we weren't hoping for the same things.

Willow didn't exactly look pleased to see me. She was surprised, of course, but she also seemed annoyed. Her jaw was clenched. Her hands were formed in tight fists. We didn't look away from each other until Ava cleared her throat and asked if we knew each other. Even then, she didn't respond to the question. She simply swallowed, moved her eyes to look at something to my left, and then said, in a quiet, carefully controlled voice, "Juniper. Would you please follow me outside for a moment."

And then she walked away, through the doors she had walked in just mere moments before. Still in shock, I looked to Ava. She must have thought I was asking permission, because she nodded to the door and shrugged. I thought my heart might beat right through my chest.