Flash Imagines

Heartache

Barry Allen Imagine

Since Barry gave his powers up life has been extremely rough. Not just around central city, but life at home too. Barry's taking it really hard and it's almost like he's fallen into a sort of depression. He's more critical of himself, he's less hopeful, and he won't talk about it. I don't think it's abnormal, I completely understand. I've been there for him, holding him at night and being there for him after those horrible nightmares. All I can do right now is just be there for him.
"Y/n! I'm heading to the lab, wanna come?" I hear Barry call from downstairs. I grab a jacket from the chair and make my way down to him. "Of course I do, silly."

When we get to the lab Barry's whole demeanor changes. It's like he puts on a mask for his friends; as if he's protecting them by not showing his weak side. I give him a peck on his cheek and take a seat next to Cisco who's working intensively on his computer. "So, any news on the particle accelerator?" I ask Harry.
He looks over at me, glanced at Barry, and then back to me with a sigh. "Nothing new, still working out how to create the least amount of damage."
"I don't want this city to suffer just so I can get my powers back." Barry says and walks towards the board that Harrison is working on.
"We know Barry, we know...but I'm worried that the city will suffer even more if you don't get your powers back." Harry replies.
"Hey guys." Says a familiar voice from behind me.  I turn around and see Iris, dressed in a cute blue top, blazer and leather pants. I roll my eyes and turn my focus back to Barry-who's eyes are on Iris. "Hey Iris, what's up?" He asks.
"Nothing, just came to see how you're holding up."
Listen, I'm not jealous that they've been friends since childhood. I know how important Iris is to Barry...but I also know that he was in love with her and she broke his heart when she rejected him. Barry and I have been close friends since high school and I️ fell in love with him long before all of this. After she rejected him I waited a few months before confessing my own feelings...and since then we've been together. Too see him chase Iris for years took a toll on me and then to watch her hurt him like that...well let's just say she's not my favorite person in the world.
After a few minutes of Zoom talk I get up and grab Barry's hand. "I want you to know that everything will eventually work out. Don't let Zoom steal hope from you too." 
I earn an "awh" from Cisco and a kiss from Barry before Iris interrupts. "Sorry but can I talk to you outside Barry?" She asks. We all look at her with similar confused expressions until Barry nods and follows her out.
"Way to ruin the moment..." I mumble and slump back into the chair. All of a sudden Cisco's eyes go wide and his jaw drops. This usually meant he was getting a vibe. I jump back up and run over to him, eager to see what news there was. "What did you see?" Harrison asks.
Cisco looks at me with sad eyes and shakes his head, "Y/n....you should go check on Barry and Iris." A million thoughts ran through my head in that moment. Were they hurt? Was Zoom here? Nothing I had in mind could prepare me for what I was going to witness.
I quickly make my way out to where Iris and Barry are, only to stop in my tracks when I hear the words leave her mouth. "I love you Barry."
"W..what about when I told you how I felt last year?" He asks, shocked.
"I wasn't available in that way...but I feel like we're meant for each other. We're married on earth-2 and the more I think about it..the more I'm convinced that it's destiny."
I feel tears stream down my face but I'm paralyzed, unable to wipe them away or get out of there. They can't see me which only makes it worse.
"I-I don't know what to say...." Barry says, looking down.
'Say you love me! Reject her' I mentally shout.
"You don't have to say anything Barry...I just wanted to let you know. I love you-Flash or not. You'll always be a hero even without those powers."
'I've been saying that since he lost them!!!' I think, the tears now coming down harder.
Barry's practically speechless and bright red, now staring at Iris. He still loves her...I can tell. I know that look...it's the same look he had when he talked about her in high school. That look of hope and love.
I turn around as fast as possible and run. That must have drawn attention because the next thing I hear is Barry yelling "Y/n!! Wait!"
But I can't wait. I can't stay there. I can't listen to him say he doesn't love her-I can not hear any lies. Cisco stops me and grabs my shoulders. "You need to talk to him." He tells me.
I try and work out of his grip, "You knew and you let me hear all of that. Why?!" I cry.
Barry eventually catches up to me and Cisco, breathing hard.
"Y/n, please..I'm sorry you had to hear that."
I don't even look at him.
That's when Iris pops up standing next to Barry. I immediately wip around and glare at her, my eyes red and puffy from crying. "How could you! You break his heart and then-when he's finally over you and has me-you go and make him fall again."
Iris looks down, ashamed and embarrassed. Barry then cups my face with his hands and stares into my eyes, "Y/n I love you."
"But you love Iris too..." I say slowly pulling out of his grasp.
Everyone is silent and standing there, awkwardly looking at the ground. So..I leave. I leave star labs and go home.
My best friend, y/f/n, come over to listen and comfort me. I tell her everything, this time no tears came. "I can't be with someone who loves someone else." I say.
She groans and smacks me across my head. "Wake up Y/n! He loves you more! Barry has told me a million times that he'd choose you over Iris. Both of you put him in a weird situation-no wonder he was speechless. You need to go and actually talk to him about this." Y/f/n says.
I stare at her in shock trying to process the tough love. "Y/f/n...I'm worried that now it's real and she actually confessed her feelings... he might rethink everything...or what if he can't stop thinking about it...." I mumble.
She sighs and takes my hand into hers. "Don't you think it's worth hearing him out first, before jumping to conclusions?"
I nod and we get up, both reaching for our phones. "Do I call him?" I ask.
"I️ can call if you want." She says and starts dialing Barry's number.
I step out of the room and head downstairs, grabbing my jacket and running my hand through my hair. How did all of this happen? All of this is happening so quickly....

After y/f/n drops me off at Jitters I make my way to the roof top. Once I get up there I look up at the sky, the moon was creating a beautiful halo upon the city. "Y/n?" I hear his voice say behind me.
I let out a sigh and slowly turn around, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Barry." I reply.
"Thank you for meeting me-I really want to explain." He says walking closer to me.
"I just need to know how you really feel before making any decisions about this relationship." I put bluntly.
Barry's obviously taken aback by this statement. I notice his eyes twinkle and then a tear drop down the side of his face. "Y/n I didn't ask for this. I didn't want Iris to tell me how she felt. But she did. And that doesn't matter." He says, his voice shaking.
I feel a lump form in my throat; I hate seeing Barry upset. This hurts me more than anything.
"It doesn't matter?" I ask quietly.
"Of course it doesn't. Y/n, I love you. I love you more than I ever loved Iris and nothing she says can change that. I thought you knew that..."
I look up at him and the tears start falling again. "I'm sorry for being so dramatic I️-Im just so insecure when it comes to her." I say quietly, making my way into Barry's arms. He holds me tightly and then pulls back to kiss me softly.
"You had every right to be upset....I'm sorry and I love you."
Standing there, in his arms, I knew this was the way it was supposed to be...and every part of me said he felt that way too.