The Balance Between Us - A Reylo

Chapter 15

Ben

I stared out of the window of the bridge. The world seemed to move in collateral as I stood there. I felt nothing, just the want to be away from here. To free myself of the strings I tied when I killed Snoke. Power, I wanted it for so long, I became a monster for it breaking away the pieces of my humanity to reach further into the Dark and be away from my past. From the Light.

"Do you regret it?" Rey asked me. Her hazel eyes were deep windows to her soul.

"Regret what?" I knew what she was asking me but I wanted to hear her say it.

"Letting the Darkness consume you, betraying your family, letting Snoke use you?" Rey's fingers played with my hair as she looked up at me.

"Every choice made has a consequence. If I hadn't left the Academy and joined the First Order, I never would have met you. And because of this I don't. I regret every other choice I made since I met you--"

"Do you regret killing your father?" The very regret I was trying to avoid. 'Let the past die!' That's what I believed.

"You already asked me that." I told her bypassing the question.

"No. I asked you why you did and why you hated him." I looked at her.

"I remember. I just hoped you wouldn't." Rey sat up tugging the sheet close to her. I lowered my eyes away from her intense stare looking opposite me towards the wall. Anger and bitterness rised in my veins.

"Yes, everyday. I thought in killing him that would resolve the conflict, free myself. That pain is still there like a void growing. I know I could never fully atone for the deeds I've done but without you I know I would be lost in the darkness and the pain."

"You're not lost. Let me help you." Rey told me.

The world I created came back into view, nothing had changed. I was still a monster and always would be. I could not escape my past just as I couldn't escape the present, no matter how much I tried to sever the ties. My eyes observed the stars dancing and the clouds of particle gas move, a calming peace that didn't resonate with me. A haughty presence irrupted my zemblanity.

"Supreme Leader. The Imperium will be ready for the launch in two days. Weapon functions are online."

"Thank you." I told the officer without turning around. My eyes darted to all the stars in the system. And below me, Fondor.
"Hux," Loud marching boots walked up beside me. "Inform Zira Ren and tell her I want two Knights on the ground of Fondor."

"As you wish." I heard Hux walk away.

Rey

I was practising my attack and defence near the waters edge, the air was clear out here allowing me to be in touch with my senses, with the Force more easily. We had only two days to prepare for battle on Fondor. Instead of using my lightsaber I practised with my trusty staff. These past few weeks had been tiresome: my body ached from a lack of sleep and restlessness, I wake up feeling sick most days and empty with fatigue setting in.

"Mind if I get a few practise swings in too?" A voice registered but I didn't recognise it so I turned around.

It's Finn, "Sure." He had a staff of his own and wore the same fatigued expression: clearly training the cadets endlessly had tired his body.