The End is Nine

Chapter 17. Grief makes one hour ten. Part 2.

¦Hiccup¦December¦

For what felt like the longest time Hiccup sat there in silence, holding Merida but feeling as if she wasn't really there. It was as if his arms were holding onto an empty vacuum. The woman herself no longer showed any emotions, her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were bloodshot but she wasn't crying anymore. However, Hiccup was. It was as if all of her pain was transferred over to him. Especially since he had just witnessed new life enter the world, and now a life that was partly his, was gone. 

"I didn't even know..." Merida mumbled. "All night, I had the most awful cramps and I thought it was maybe a period, then I remembered that I haven't had one since October...how could I forget that? And It just...came away." She inhaled a shuddering breath and that made Hiccup hold on tighter. The man buried his head into her shoulder and sobbed. 

"I'm so sorry..." He muttered between breaths. "I know you didn't want this, this is my fault." 

Merida glanced up to her partner, her expression softening as she saw how wracked with guilt he was. "No." She murmured. "No, this is not your fault. This is my fault too. So don't go blaming yourself. Nature just didn't want this to happen." With that she snaked her arms around his neck and held on to Hiccup for dear life. Instinctively, Hiccup picked the woman up and slowly turned in the direction of the cabin. 

"We can get through this," He hummed, "Because if we survived the last eleven years together, then we can get through this." 

As soon as the couple entered through the front door, everyone looked to them, falling silent, watching Hiccup carry Merida through with his head held up. Questions could be asked later, it was clearly evident that the couple, for now, needed to be alone. 

*

After a couple of days, Merida finally dragged herself from bed and sat by the window in her room, watching the snow fall across the landscape, time seemed to have pulled her along slowly, it was agonizing. The world around her moved but she was stuck, minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days. Hiccup had gone out hunting with Jack, Aster and Clopin, he seemed fine for now, the initial shock had worn off and Hiccup insisted that he continued as normal, even if Merida didn't want to. Next door, she could hear Rapunzel singing a soft lullaby to her newborn. It was a calming tune that even made Merida feel relaxed. Standing, the curly haired woman padded across the wooden floor to her door and hesitated, her hand resting on the doorknob. She hadn't left this room since she returned with Hiccup, did she really feel up to leaving yet? To braving the brutality of the world? Well she had to start somewhere. Quickly, she opened the door and softly walked down the hall before coming to Rapunzel's door. She knocked and was beckoned inside by Rapunzel's melodic voice. When the new mother saw her friend she smiled, it was a sympathetic smile, but was not condescending. 

"Hey." She said gently. In her arms, she was rocking the baby, his eyes were fluttering as he tried to fight the urge to sleep. 

"Hi." Merida croaked as she wandered in further. "I thought I should come meet the little man." Rapunzel's smile extended and she nodded for Merida to sit on the bed where she was perching. Complying, Merida gingerly sat down beside Rapunzel and peered over at the tiny baby. 

"Well, he looks nothing like a little snowman, I suppose that's a plus." Merida remarked, which made Rapunzel chuckle. 

"Would you like to hold him?" 

Merida shrugged and carefully lifted the little one from her friend's arms, she cradled him close, inspecting his tiny features. "H-hey there little fella...you're pretty cute. I'm sorry you were born into such a crap storm of a planet..there's probably very few apocalypse babies...but you're special because you've got a big family to look after ya." She paused, feeling a lump get lodged in her throat. "And you've got an amazing mummy and daddy to look after ya..so you're gonna be loved." At that moment, the woman burst into tears, she hugged the baby before handing him back to Rapunzel. "I'm sorry Punzie." 

Rapunzel placed her son on the center of the bed and turned to Merida, pulling her friend in a tight embrace. "You have nothing to be sorry for Merida. The most important thing is that you are well." 

"I'm such a disappointment!" She sobbed. 

"No you're not!" 

"This was something Hiccup wanted, and I can't give that to him." Merida felt utterly defeated, sure, she didn't actually want to have a child, she had expressed that to Hiccup before, but she had been pregnant. She had a life that was part her and part Hiccup growing within her and she didn't even know it, and then it was too late. She felt a failure for providing false hope, for taking one of Hiccup's dreams and shattering it. Rapunzel was about to protest once more when a huge crash sounded from downstairs followed by a gunshot. Both of the woman gasped, Rapunzel scooped her baby up and cradled him close, and Merida stood in front of the pair, braced for trouble. The heavy sound of Jim's boots hitting the stairs could be heard and then like rain to a roof, gunshots rang off continuously. "I don't have a gun, Punzel we need to get out of here." Merida whispered as she patted her belt in an attempt to look for a weapon. Hurrying over to the window, Rapunzel peered out. As far as she could see there was nobody around and the window ledge seemed just about wide enough to climb down onto the flat roof over the dinning room. 

"Mer out here!" She hissed, beckoning her over. "You'll have to go first so I can pass the baby down to you!" Nodding frantically, Merida opened up the window and climbed out onto the snowy ledge. The weather was picking up now, the falling white flecks were huge and came down fast, making it hard to see anything further and a few feet. However she didn't waste time hopping down onto roof and turning, ready to hold the baby whilst Rapunzel climbed down. The woman and child in question were now emerging from the window, it wasn't a large drop, so Merida held up her arms to safely take hold of the baby. Once she had, Rapunzel hopped down and took hold of her newborn once again. Carefully, the pair walked along the roof, they had a grip of one another's arms in case either were to slip, and when they got to the very edge, figures could just about be seen further down the road. It was difficult to make out who they were but they were armed that's for sure. The gun fire had gone silent back when they were climbing out the window. Wherever Jack, Hiccup, Aster and Clopin were they were safe, but it was Emma, Jim, Esmeralda and Phoebus, Jamie and Sophie who where still inside, dead or alive, Merida and Rapunzel had no clue. "We need to get as far away from here as possible!" Rapunzel muttered as she shuffled back along to the side. 

"Where are you going?! There's still people inside!" Merida said through gritted teeth. 

"Yes, and they have their weapons, we don't and I have a baby!" The blonde haired woman sat down on the edge, her feet just about touched a snow dune which meant she could jump down and have her landing be cushioned. 

"Fine! You go into the wood with the baby, I'll go back inside for the others and we'll come find you when we can!" Commanded Merida. She knelt beside Rapunzel, did the same routine with the baby and once Rapunzel and the newborn were on the ground and running away safely, Merida retreated back to the window. 

She truly did have no idea what she was about to face.