Humans Vs Wolves

Chapter 43 • Consequences of a Human

*Trigger warning*

Braydon's Pov.

I lay in Alison's bed, hugging her pillow. Yesterday was horrible, I let her down. She's depressed and so am I. This mate bond is going to be the death of me. I never knew that this is how it was going to be. Ive seen so many happy couples, and we are not one of them. I thought that tonight I could make everything right, be the hero. Instead, I ruined it for us. The media disapproves of us, which just crumbles the whole plan. I bet it's what I said about rogues, or just me being there in general.

I groan, my stomach hurting. Im suppose to eat a lot, but I havent eaten since the announcement. It feels like my stomach is eating itself. Im glad that she asked me what I wanted to eat, I feel weak for once. My muscles are all clamped up and I could be easily taken down. Thankfully there's no threat here, I dont think any human would kill me because I wouldnt hold back.

Now Alison, I want her, but she doesnt want me. Her thoughts are haunting me, they hurt. She doesn't know it and she won't. She will try and fix it and pity me.

Please not the mate bond again. I cant deal with it anymore.

I dont want to have to do anything with him.

Braydon has been sitting by me, saying happy things to me, but they mean nothing to me.

I don't think she could ever love me. That lie is what did it all. It was to protect someone dear to me, but he isnt even alive anymore. Why did I keep the secret? The conciquences from my father, but he isnt alpha anymore. That's why I told her everything and she doesn't believe me. She refuses to even try and it's killing me. I feel like my heart just got ripped out of me when she does that.

This is dumb, stupid and why the hell do I have to go through all this pain? For Alison. I love her, I love her, I love her so much. I wish she knew what it was like, but I couldnt put her through this. She's going through enough shit right now, all because of me, my lies, and existance.

I get out of bed sluggishly and move around before finding a pen and piece of paper. I think I can get more out writing rather than just thinking. I need to sort myself out and fix everything. I-I can't just leave it as is, but Im nothing. The past is the past and I can't change that. Im sorry Alison and all that Ive done to you. You mean so much to me, but the feeling isnt mutual.

My life feels ruined and Im depressed.

A tear falls down my cheek. What alpha cries? Apperently me, a million times. I wish Denial would have become alpha, but I wouldnt trust him... I have no idea what to do. Not like I can change that fact though.

I open the door amd leave Alison's room, wanting some fresh air. I make sure to check around, not wanting to see Alison. I dont think she wants to see me either. Ive let her down enough, all I want to do is bring her up. Ill think of something that will make her happy, I will.

I go to the first floor and sneak out a window, not wanting to disturb her in the kitchen. I could hear her and her mother, so I decide to sneak aroumd, wanting to listen. I know, it's not a good idea, but I have to know what she really thinks about me. She wouldnt lie to her mom, theres no reason to.

Her mother asks Alison about whether or not she's going to come with me, back to pack house. My mouth opens slightly, I havent thought about that. I wonder what her answer will be. "No, I cant. I want to stay here and wait for everybody to forget. I just want my normal life back," she cries to her mother.

I let out a loud whine, falling to the ground. She doesnt even want to go back. I thought she would, even if it was to see Wyatt. I wouldnt care, I just want her to come back with me. I cant have her hate me anymore though.

I get off the floor, walking away from the house sluggishly. Im slouched, my arms dangling aimlessly, and my eyes droopy. I look like a beast, a monster, and a loser. Even if I didn't look like it, I sure as hell am feeling like it. My wolf whines and howls, telling me to go back near Alison, but I refused. He tries to gain control, but only fails. Im in power, and yet Im weak. The mate bond should be helping him be stronger than me, which it isnt right now. That's odd, is he really that weak?

I lean against a tree, crossing my arms. This fresh air feels so nice, I want to stay out here longer. Maybe even forever would be nice. I feel something in my pocket shift around and I pull out my headphone cord. These pants just got washed. Damnit, I need to buy new headphones now. I toss them to the ground in a fit of range, what the fuck ever.

I look down at them then suddenly pick them up and try to tear it apart, only to fail. Damn this thing is strong... strong enough to help me. Help me stay outside forever and fix myself.I take a moment to think of all the bad memories, knowing I didnt want to go back.

She doesn't care about me.

She doesn't like me.

She says I'm too obsessive.

She will be happy to be back home.

I jump onto the tree and tie the cord around higher branch, high enough for me.I tug it, making sute the knot is secure. Sure enough, it is. I bite my lip and make another knot, leaving a big enough hole for me.

My head slides through the hole, "Im sorry Alison. I love you."