The rise and fall of an Idol Producer

Chapter 2- Lost

The Doc was really strict about the treatment and how much I could work. He called every 3 h over FaceTime and wanted to see how I feel and what I do. I appreciated his care but I couldn't answer him anymore... I needed to produce songs. After 5 days I just switched off my phone so I could work in peace but he turned up at the studio because he thought that something might have happened. I felt really bad about it and we agreed on updates every 6h.

Two weeks later I was feeling way better and I could work again without any limitations. The only barrier I faced was that every single song I produced was not satisfying. They were not something I was proud of. When you have a close deadline it can push you creatively but also it could backfire badly. It did backfire for me. I felt emotionally drained and nothing sounded right. I handed in the least worse songs to the senior producers who said that the songs were good and they will only have to do some small changes. I was a bit surprised about that. The songs were nothing special... very mainstream ... a sick beat and a drop.. lyrically speaking quite plain. The songs were one time hits.. made to be popular just for one season. That's it... enough to get the idol group in the headlines for a few weeks.

I learned that the industry doesn't push your personal development in finding the artist you want go be but rather moulds you in what they want you to be like. It's terrifying to be honest but I didn't mind that when I started. I just kept saying yes to everything. I sold my soul as an artist in order to join the most successful idol company ever ... You all know it under the name "YG".

YG, the company hosting idol such as BIG BANG, Black Pink, Winner and more. They knew how to make hits, set trends before anyone else, the were present in the whole entertainment industry.. They were the Kings... Royalty. Now I know why they are so successful... They push their artist and everyone works almost 15h or more each day. The company becomes your life. It was and still is mine, but back then I was feeling very lonely. So in order to forget that I worked on songs every spare minute. Music was the only loyal friend I had.

I found myself one day wandering around with my laptop through the hallways of the company. I needed a different setting. Since 5 h I have been writing on the same song for a senior  artist but it was useless. Next to my production table was a pile of scrambled draft paper. The company was always fast pace but at 2am it seemed more or less empty today. On my walk I met one of the security guards, Mr. Won, the nicest security guard in the company. He was an old men in his mid fifties with grey hair but a body like a 25 year old. He was a big guy and no one dared to disobey him. I smilled widely as he came closer and bowed.

"Good morning Mr.Won, how are you?", I asked him.

He smiled and said: " I am fine Miss A.J. Are you going home or what? It's very early..".

He has a very unique humour but I liked it.

"Not even close to leaving Sir. I just wanted to find a different work setting. Stuck with production..", I said.

"Who are you writing for this time?", he asked interested.

I smiled weakly and said: " I wish I knew that. Since I am a rookie I don't get to actually work with the idols. I pass the songs to the senior producers and they do the recording with them. I usually find out who I wrote for after the songs have been published. They put me in the production team list like all the others but the main credit goes to the seniors.  I usually get a voice sample like a cover that idol has sung, a topic I should write about and a rough concept. That's all."

" Yeah I don't understand why they treat you guys like that. Your songs were all so great so far and if you ask me the seniors never changed anything in the production but yet still they exclude you from the credits. But let's see what Karma holds for them... Anyway let me show you something.. Follow me!", he said and turned around and started walking down the hallways very fast.

I nearly had to run to catch up to him. He was leading me to the top floor where I had never been. He took my ID card, slided it against a machine and typed in a code in order to grant me entrance and the doors opened. It was a big room but it was dark do I couldn't see more than just mere Outlines. He turned on the lights and I couldn't believe what I saw. It was a dance practice room and right next to it was a studio booth. I walked in and the sound, echo, equipment and just everything was current, stylish and futuristic. I looked up and my jaw dropped. The ceiling was made of glass and you could see the night sky so clear.. It was beautiful.

Mr. Won laughed at my shocked face and said: " Miss A.J may I introduce you to the VIP room where artist like BIG BANG and Black Pink worked. It is never really used by them since they have their own unit houses. If you ask me it is just a waste of money. I call it the show off room. You can use it if you want. Just make sure that it is not booked or so ok? I need to head back now.. See you later."

I thanked him and just sat on the floor for a bit. This room was the spark that started my successful career as the best Idol producer ever. This room was home for many songs that won multiple prices.