The rise and fall of an Idol Producer

Chapter 21- Turn

Although I was happy to see them all acting more themselves I could still feel the dark clouds around them. The question remained when TOP will decide to fight and wake up. I could not say what I felt to them all... the ones I call my family because if I did then we might go back to square one. I was afraid and anxious of letting my emotions get a hold of me. J had this ability to make me feel less anxious and for a short moment he gave me a safe space to let out some tears. Only I knew that I never let go fully. The thing about emotions are that whenever you try to block them or hide them they will catch up on you. I knew that too well and I knew it was a matter of time. My heart was not allowed to grief until TOP wakes up.. only then I could let go and move on. That is what I kept telling myself at least.

My mind had no time to think about that too much though. I switched between the hospital and work. There was no time to stop and breathe and feel. Once a week I had the recording for Idol producer and I was happy to see that some trainees really improved. The most training supervision was done by Lay, Jackson, Li and our dancing queen. The other judges just popped in for the weekly assessments. We do have a group chat where we get informed about any progress they all make and sometimes there is even footage. Cai was getting better and better these days. If my mind would not be occupied by so many other things then I could have more time to uncover his true colour and talent.

In aspects of meetings I had not many scheduled. YG was able to push most of them back. Before he did that he asked me about it and since my time was really limited these days I had to cancel some but in return I promised to send some track samples which I did. It was a way to keep all of them happy for a bit.

I received a call from YG when I was visiting TOP after some recordings in the morning. I had found all of BIG BANGs members on the floor singing some old songs. Unnie and Zoe were asleep on the couch and TOPs parents listened to them singing. Quickly I walked out of the hospital and picked up.

"Good evening Sir", I said to him slightly out of breath.

"Hey A.J. How is everything? Did the recording go well?", he asked curiously.

"Yeah that went well. TOP-no change. So why did you call me?", I asked him while taking a seat on a bench nearby.

"Oh I see. He will wake up soon. I am sure. Well there has been a request for a meeting today.. I wanted to check if you can make it and want to go or whether I should push it back?", he asked and paused.

To be honest I am so tired. These days I feel like my brain in not shutting down when I sleep. Usually when we get home I go to the studio after we all had dinner and work on tracks until 3am. Then I wake up at 8 am and the day starts again. The productions and lyrics I write on the go but the recordings had to be done in the studio. But when you work towards your dream and get to live that then work does not feel like work. It was no burden for me at all. Music was and is always there for me. It is my safe place.

"I can go. Just send me the address and I will be on my way. I have not changed into my normal clothes so that is convenient", I said while slowly walking back to the hospital.

"Great. I will send you the address. It is close by. It is in the Hills. I will call BigHit and confirm the meeting with BTS", he said and hung up.

Wait did he just say BTS? I mean I knew that they wanted to collaborate but they received a lot of attention internationally these days so I did not anticipate a meeting for months. When I got back into the room I saw them all sitting around a laptop and looking at some old footage that Daesung shot over the last years. They did not even notice me coming in.

"I have a meeting for a few hours. It was a last minute call. Just head home without me and I will see you at mine later. I am sorry that I have to leave now", I said giving them all a hug before leaving.