The rise and fall of an Idol Producer

Chapter 32 - Thunderstorm

The winter took hold in Seoul and the days grew darker and snow started to fall down and settle. The show Idol producer had ended with big show and of course Cai won with Justin. All the trainees had been doing well. When the news emerged to the media that I left YG speculations and rumours were circulating. They had been ridiculous and so out of content. Anna took legal action against the people that tried to drag my name through the dirt. The rumours died down.

Anna became my manger/ assistant eventually and she was on fire. She had called me late at night to tell me some exciting news.

"A.J you still are nominated for multiple awards at MAMA. They have sent you an invitation email and asked if you could do an exclusive for 5min! Before the closing song. You can bring a one plus", he basically screamed in excitement.

"Oh really.. So money cannot buy everything huh? I want you to be my plus one Anna. You deserve to sit with me. A lot of people watch this right? I will make this 5min memorable. They all need a mirror being held up..", I said seriously and started to explain.

She listened close and reminded me it was a risky move but soon was all in the plan. She always had my back. I asked her to reply that I would do a special but was planning it to be a secret. Even during the rehearsal time we got I just planned things out without actually performing or so. There was no need for that. It was supposed to sound raw, sincere and for that reason I did not plan to give a big show. It crossed my mind multiple times why they would ask a producer like me that just emerged onto the surface to ask for a special. I had multiple theories about it but Anna told me to let it slide.

To my surprise Haba was assigned as the main producer for the show which made things alot easier. No one expect Anna and me knew about will happen in that 5min. Haba did not question my rehearsals and just helped us where he could. Every other show producer would probably be mad and call us insane for not rehearsing actually. Since I was on as the last one on that night I could use the latest spots for rehearsal where the venue was empty. Anna made sure that no one saw a glimpse of the show. Even on the agenda it said a special but not by whom. We kept that secret from everyone except Zoe.

I worked on a rap song. One with a deep meaning. One that tells their stories unfiltered and uncensored. The honest and brutal truth. Since it would be live I was not allowed to use swear words but that was not necessary. The message was clear. Anna even had not heard the song before. She respected my choice and just went along to support me. It was not that I was hiding that from them but rather I wanted to reveal the song that day. She had a vague idea about the concept but the real song had so much more background and meaning that even she could not grasp it through the concept.

The day of the MAMA award show had finally came. I was more excited than nervous. This show would change and shake the industry. I could be ruined after that but I did not care. I worked hard to it and if not now when will all of these people wake up. Now or never. I had a deep chat with Anna telling her that this song was risky and that it could ruin me. Anna assured me that whatever happens she will by my side. She had no intention of leaving me ever alone since she reminded me that I was the reason for her being here in first place. That again proved to me that she was the right one to fight with me for more justice. I had saved up some money on the side and when for some reason things were getting out of hand I had some compensation money for her to keep her above the surface. I can live on the streets and be homeless but I never ever wanted that to happen to her.

We spend most of the day in Zoe's house to get ready. She was responsible for my red carpet look. After multiple interrogations of her on what I imaged myself we settled on one outfit. It consisted of some skinny black suit trousers, a white shirt with the words unfiltered written on it, some black heels, a small black clutch, some reflective pilot sun glasses and some nice little jewellery. I had a casual and edgy outfit and it would for sure stand out. Usually people would wear more formal clothes like dresses and suits. Anna wore a knee-long long pink dress which suited her really well. She looked fabulous. I was the only one not wearing a dress among the female audience which made me receive weird looks. One reason for that outfit choice was also that I could just transform it to another outfit - my stage outfit. I had vaguely told Zoe that I needed a plain stage outfit for some special that was filmed after the show and she readily helped me out. My stage outfit was the nearly the same thing that I was wearing but the shirt said uncensored instead and my heels were replaced by boots and I wore a leader jacket on top. Zoe had promised to place the outfit into my dressing room so that Anna and I could just go straight to our table.