The rise and fall of an Idol Producer

Chapter 8 - Scars

I greeted the secretary and she told me to go in. I knocked at the door and YG called me in. Slowely I opened the door and was suprised to see that YG was not alone in there. G was sat opposite to YG.

"Come on in. We are done anyway. G I will see you later", he said to G. G got up and I greeted him but he smiled weakly at me and did not even look at me. He left. Why is he in here? Did he tell YG what happened? Why is he so cold? I was soon brought back to the present moment by YG telling me to take a seat.

"SO ... A.J! I want to sign you as a producer. I think you proofed yourself here and what you can do. Here is the contract. The lawyer will come soon and we can go over the contract...", as he was talking a man entered the room and I greeted him.

I was beyond happy and we talked for the next hours about the contract, terms& conditions and legal stuff. I signed the contract and both congratulated me. This was just the stone that got my carrer rolling. I wish I would have known that this was just the beginning of my best and worst days in my career. Well looking back everything that happened can be tracked back to this very moment.

Grinning I made my way to the top floor. I was on a high and I wanted to use that energy to write some songs. When the elevator door opened I spooted G on the couch. He was on his phone and did seem to be busy. My head was filled with his behavior in the car and now in the meeting. I could not leave things like that. I was hurt by that... I really was and still am. Taking all my courage together I made my way to him. I already was choked up a bit but tried not to let that show. G noticed me and wanted to leave.

I grabed his wrist and did not let go. He looked suprised and a bit annoyed at me.

"I need to talk to you. I will let you go before you hear me out", I said in a strong and demanding voice.

He turned around and mustered my face. I guess he knew that I will not accept a no. He sank on the couch, leaned back and rested his eyes. I saw that his face was puffed and he had dark circles under his eyes. He did not sleep. I felt terrible about that because I might have been the reason why.

I sat on the small coffee table and faced him.

"Thank you for yesterday", I said.

"You are welcome... Was that all", he asked.

Why is he like that? It must have been the song I sang in the car. It was about a idol on the top that struggled about finding themselves. I did not mean to offend him. I really did not. I looked down and I catched a glimpse at his left wrist. There was a big pflaster on there. My whole body froze. Before I knew it I grabbed his left wrist.

He laughed and asked: "Are you gonna confess A.J".

I did not say anything and touched the plaster. He opened his eyes immediately and his laugh was soon whiped of his face.

Did he hurt himself? I needed to know. He tried to withdraw his hand but I did not let go. I slowely took a glimpse at what was hidden under that pflaster. I was speechless when I saw the fresh scars there. Tears filled my eyes and I put the pflaster back on.

I let go of his hand and lowered my head. Tear rolled down my face and I tried to hide them. I am sorry.. so sorry.

"I am sorry... I am sorry.. I am soory", I whispered. My could not say anymore. He might have not even heared me. I cried bitter tears.

Soon he pulled me into a hug and did not say anthing. I continued to say sorry. He stayed silent.

"G I did not want to hurt you and cause you to do this! You helped me yesterday and I did not even see what was going on with you.... I am sorry", I said sobbing.