Chapter 4

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The employees were gathering in the gym for the donut session. The entire center of the gym was literally covered in tables piled high with donuts. The manager was having a stroke. This was what he considered heaven.
"Yummy!" Frederic exclaimed, grabbing a bunch of donuts.
"Fool. We have to burn calories before we eat," Damien corrected, grabbing a basketball.
"But Damiiiiiiii," Frederic whined, a donut hanging out of his mouth.
"BuT dAmIiIiIiIiI," Damien mocked. "Come play basketball or die."
Overly confident in his skills, he threw the ball. It didn't even reach the hoop. He cussed, retrieving it. He threw it again, his stubby arms weak.
Frederic helpfully picked it up, dropping it in the hoop without even jumping. Damien angrily fetched it, dribbling it furiously to no avail.
"PATHETIC!" the manager cackled, his throat clogged with donuts.
"Here, Dami! I can help you!" Frederic smiled, picking the small man up and lifting him up to the hoop. Damien angrily shoved the ball in. That was the least he could do.
Frederic absentmindedly dropped Damien, running back to the donuts. "OUCH!" Damien shouted, rubbing his cracked skull. Frederic was too busy feasting on donuts to hear him.
"HEY, B*TCH! THE CHOCOLATE FILLED ARE CLAIMED!" the manager hollered, shoving Frederic to the ground and grabbing the 10-meter tall pile of chocolate filled donuts, rolling back to his station, where he was hard at work at building a massive donut mountain, which he would later sit upon and force his subjects to photograph. Frederic whimpered as he chewed on the remains of a donut.
Suddenly, the lights flickered. Then the gym went dark. The employees murmured in fear. "MAN UP, LADIES!" the manager yelled like the drill sergeant god he was.
"I feel the shadows comprehending my pain," Damien murmured, meditating in the warmth of Satan.
The lights blared back on. The manager let out a shrill, womanly scream. Half the donuts were missing. How would he ever complete his donut mountain now?!
"WHAT MOTHERF*CKER JUST RUINED MY LIFE?!" he demanded, rolling around the gym at top speed.
"It seems a thief has stolen the donuts!" a very moral employee saluted.
"RAAAAAA!!!!! I'M GETTING MAAAAADDDD!" he screamed.
"Wow, so you didn't care when 100 children were murdered but when a couple donuts go missing you freak out?" Damien grumbled.
"I'LL SHOW YOU A COUPLE!" Cristobal shrieked, firing two bullets into his chest. "AHHHHHH!!!! I NEED MY DONUT MOUNTAIN!!!!!!"
"It's okay, your majesty. I assure you, we will fetch your donuts soon. Your tears shall not be in vain," a subordinate comforted, wiping Cristobal's tears with a donut-patterned handkerchief.
"Slaves, track down the donuts! I beg of you! I'm humbled by this astoundant crime!" the round man wept, sobbing into his undersized colts jersey from 6th grade.
"Wow, Cristobal's actually being humble. I thought he'd just kill everyone," Damien muttered.
"It's okay, Cristo. We're your loving family," Frederic comforted, patting the manager's round bald head. In a split second his arm was broken and he was thrown across the gym.
"I DON'T NEED A F*CKING FAMILY! I WANT FOOD!" he screamed.
"Sir, we will do our best to investigate! Justice will prevail!" Damien saluted.
Then, he spotted something. He turned to see a note on the table where the donuts had been stolen. Written in ketchup, it simply said:

            Why didn't you invite me?

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