a bottle or two

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What do you say to your sister, after driving miles to see her in the icu ?
The words clumping in your throat ,
the weight of them heavy like the bags you packed in midst of your abrupt departure.

What do you say knowing she tried to commit suicide?
Sitting at the table with her ...
Your fork scraps against the plate in jagged motions, pushing the food you didn't want to the side.
You were too bewildered to reject it...
Is there some kinda instruction book for this?

Is there a clock you can tick back for all the times you didn't message ?
All the words that were not spoken ?
All the fights that took place?

She hides depression like that realitive no one knows about,
Always there but to the back of her mind.
And if she didn't tell you ...you didn't know ,
and believe me she didn't tell you.

What do you say to your suicidal sister?

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