I am afraid
That I may never be able to forget this night.
Not in a day,
Or a month,
Or a year,
Perhaps not even in a decade from now.
This clash that I have secondarily witnessed
Makes my chest anxiously tight,
And my heart achingly morose.
We are raised to believe
That the closest loves we observe
Are everlasting,
Immortally unconditional.
I am realizing
That this seems less and less valid
By the day.
Those eternal bonds
Should never make anyone feel tense,
The way that I do,
Nor should they make anyone yearn for isolation,
The way that I do.
This toxic routine drains me
In every way.
Yet in the midst of my exhaustion,
To no one in particular,
I am promising
That I will not repeat this history
Of never-ending conflict.
Rather,
I am vowing
That I will create my own version
Of never-ending amity
For my future.
