Time || Solby

Chapter seventeen.

^hehe I figured I'd bring back the lame chapter name from book 1 (I'm still taking chapter name requests lol)

^this song is in my bio, it's such a good description of depression. I get so sad when I think about all the people out the who are depressed and how I don't know how to help them. If you ever need to vent to someone, just inbox me and I'll listen ❤ (Artist: Jukebox the Ghost, Song: Show Me Where it Hurts)

S  A  M

I came home and drudged upstairs, flopping on my bed face down. I'd felt so dragged down all week. I thought that telling Bella that Colby was taken would keep them from hanging out so much, but they still hung out constantly. I felt bad not joined them, but I didn't want either of them to catch the feeling that something was wrong.

Colby already could tell. He asked me a couple times, but I don't think he bought my excuses. 

Speaking of Colby, I heard his footsteps coming upstairs. Soon I felt him crawl onto my bed and wrap his arms around me.

"Hey Sam," he said, and I could hear his smile (you know thats an actual thing, you can hear someone smile! Like by how their words sound... Or is that just me).

I smiled at his dopeyness(yes I'm creating my own words now) and turned around to face him. "Hey."

He smiled wider. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately..."

"I've been thinking about you too," I confessed.

He propped his head up with his hand and I did the same to be level with him. "I know you went to the Roosevelt Hotel a while ago, but I don't think I ever heard what happened."

I shrugged. "Not much really happened."

"Are you sure? You've been acting so strangely ever since then, I'm just worried."

I tensed up slightly. "No, nothing happened."

His eyebrows drew together as he looked at me. "Then what's wrong? Don't tell me it's nothing, cause you and i both know that's not true."

He picked up my free hand and held it tight. "Well..."

I hesitated. Should I just tell him? We share everything, but what if it makes stuff worse?

He squeezed my hand again and I sighed. "It's Bella." He looked confused so I continued. "A while ago, when she first started coming over, she told me she thought you were attractive. She said she liked you. I told her you were taken, but I didn't tell her who you're dating. I'm surprised she hasn't brought it up again... Or has she? I wouldn't know, you guys always hang out without me." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice even though I was the one who didn't hang out with them.

He smiled. "You don't have to be jealous, Sam. It's not like I like her that wa-"

"Are you sure?" I cut him off. He stopped mid-sentence and considered it momentarily. 

"No, of course not." He smiled again, hugging me. I hugged him back, mildly appeased but still uncertain. 

We laid there in the dark for a while until I heard his breathing deepen. I let my mind wander, hoping not to wander too far into the land of doubt. But why did he hesitate? Maybe he was just taking everything into consideration for my benefit... He wouldn't actually like her, would he? Sure she's pretty and sweet and thoughtful, even if agree with that. I just always thought of her as a friend. Could he not feel the same?

I stopped myself, knowing I was making it out to be worse than it is. It's Colby, I know Colby. He loves me and he doesn't lie to me. He also can't help loving someone who loves him. 

I let the thought sink in for a long time. He can't help loving people who love him. I stopped thinking about Bella suddenly. Shivers went down my spine even though I was wrapped in Colby's embrace. What if he...

No, stop it. I pushed it out of my mind. I hugged him tighter, one word running continuously thought my head, trying to quiet all other thoughts.

Stop. Stop. Stop.