The Arrangement: It Led Me To Love

Chapter 36 - Ellison's POV

The door slams shut with a definite close. I am so stupid. I cannot believe I acted so harshly and rudely to Laurene! She did not deserve it. I should have spoke to her calmly and lucidly, not so austerely! It will be a wonder if she ever wants to speak to me again. The truth is I am scared. So scared. Scarlett has confirmed my worst fears. I was internally panicking, trying to come up with a solution on how I can protect both Laurene and I, but repeatedly my brain drew up as a blank. I was so frustrated and fearful, that when Laurene kept nagging me about what is going on, I snapped at her. I know I did not help the situation at all, but unfortunately I cannot take it back.

Sighing I let my face fall into my hands like lead. Peering through my fingers, I can see the majority of customers from the café are giving me disapproving stares, obviously annoyed at the commotion I caused. There is an elderly man sitting in the corner, sipping from the dainty china shakily, throwing half of his tea all over the table and himself with every major tremor of his hands. The old man has a fringe of grey-white hair around his balding, mottled scalp. He has a wizened face and a back slightly hunched. With each movement, there is the creak of old bones. He has the resigned look of one who knows that at his age, life has stopped giving and only takes away.

Tucked away at a secluded table by the stairs, one man sits alone. He might have been handsome once upon a time, but a long beak-like nose that has clearly been broken and reset several times in the past ruins his otherwise delicate features. The combination of the two gives his face a somewhat flattened aspect, as though he had angered someone wielding a particularly heavy frying pan.

The young woman in the centre of the shop holds herself like her upper spine is rubber, shoulders falling forwards in a way that would be more befitting a grandmother. On her porcelain skin is heavily applied blusher and her lips are as red as any 1950's movie star. However, the rest of her is all so old fashioned. Her dress is a primrose cotton and styled in a way that suggested it is homemade and not by a skilled hand either. Her mid-length chestnut hair waves, but not naturally so, more as if she had used over-sized rollers. When she catches my eye, she sneers at me, as if I were a tramp on the street. Frowning, I chuck some money on the table to pay for the drinks and then follow the ghosts of Laurene and Scarlet out of the cheerful yellow door.

Dawdling down the road, I put my sunglasses on and walk aimlessly along the street. I cannot see Laurene anywhere, but maybe that is a good thing. She obviously does not want me running after her, and to be honest I am too ashamed to face her right now. I am ashamed because one, I acted badly towards her, and two, I have put her in danger. I have no doubts that the boss has people analysing my whereabouts, which means that they will know that Laurene is important to me. If she is on their radar, then there is only so much I can do to protect her. She is a target. I am suddenly filled with a calming relief, as I am glad that I have had a bodyguard follow her at all times when she is out. She does not know it, but he will be following her closely right now.

I know what the mafia will want from me. Ever since my... disagreement with the man in charge, I have been on their so-called 'wanted' list. Luckily, I am not of much importance to them, but they do not like me so they will not have anything against using me for their dirty dealings, or threatening me into doing something. I cannot play into their hands though. I will not tell anybody about this; definitely not Laurene, and will just have to have hope that one day she will understand why I had to keep things from her.

Laurene will be safe with the bodyguard tailing her, so I will not go and find her now. Even though I feel like I am in a sinking hole of despair, the only way the broken ties of our relationship can be fully mended is if I tell her everything, which I am not quite ready to do yet. What will she think of me? She probably will not want anything to do with me, and I cannot deal with that right now.